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UNLEARNING SELF-PITY

Submitted by Osadolor Osayande on Tue, 2018-10-23 07:54

I have been trying hard
to neither forget myself
nor become plagued
with having to recall
who I was before this man
sitting sullen-faced
before a cracked reflection.

Our people say reflections crack
when onlookers stare
at mirrors without blinking.

I have bought their words
and learnt that
you can never, ever,
pause the soul,
never create a saint
out of self-pity.

Style / type:

Free verse

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Review Request (Direction):

How does this theme appeal to you?

Last few words:

Really miss being here. Feels so good to have more time for poetry once again. I'd appreciate your views family. Thanks.

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Comments

Eumolpus

Tue, 2018-10-23 20:50

Very incitful poem

after a few reads of this short work, I would make it shorter:

Our people say reflections crack
when onlookers stare
at mirrors without blinking.

I have bought their words
and learned that (spell check)
you can never, ever,
pause the soul,
never create a saint
out of self-pity.

I think this involves me the reader without the explanation in the first stanza. The work has more punch and poetic truth. Love the opening "our people say" .

My take. Nice poem!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Osadolor Osayande

Wed, 2018-10-24 08:30