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Unexplained Brilliance
A sudden
sonoluminescence
manifested
in a river of eyes,
a sigh drawing
vision
The spray of their rays
issued into a void
barren of illumination,
its essence devoured
with the absence
of brilliance
Broken skies
illuminated with scars,
fragmented earth
felt the first radiance,
one burst
bequeathed life
Startled orbs
can now perceive
with no sight,
folded forms
can now move
like untied kites
A desolate darkness
was extinguished,
with an inexplicable
sound wave of light
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Tue, 2014-01-28 01:09
Dearest Jayne
I am not too sure if my perceived notion about this poem is right. To me it is about discovering hope "luminance" in a heap of profound sorrow "desolate darkness" and to cling tupon that luminance to pull out of the heap of misery "darkness" and get rid of the leash "moving like untied kite" for an awakening and realization that all is not lost as was believed to be as in:-
"A desolate darkness
was extinguished,
with an inexplicable
sound wave of light"
If i did not read it right, would welcome your explanation about this delicate poem..
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
Seren
Thu, 2014-01-30 07:37
Dearest Raj
I recently read about a phenomena called Sonoluminescence it intrigued me and then I had the idea for this poem giving it a story so to speak, you are very close in your read of my poem the light eliminates the darkness in its 'unexplained brilliance' hence my title
I have included the link to Sonoluminescence on Wiki for you I hope it helps to explain where I was, in part, coming from.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonoluminescence
Thanks for your kind read and thorough critique of the content I am very happy it took your interest
much love and hugs JC xxx
p.s. I forgot to add I am not totally happy with the last stanza I am thinking up an alternative
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
loved
Tue, 2014-01-28 15:50
sonoluminescence
sonoluminescence
an extraordinary word chosen
to bring forth light
from glowing bubbles
as they burst
into nothingness
from light to darkness
and back
to the original realm
is this the content?
loved
Seren
Thu, 2014-01-30 07:38
Loved
That is my content, in part lol ;)
love JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Race_9togo
Tue, 2014-01-28 23:52
Jayne
Even in the deepest darkness,
Dawn approaches.
Good stuff.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
Seren
Thu, 2014-01-30 07:39
Jim
Every night must bow to day and vice versa :)
glad you liked it
much love JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Ian.T
Wed, 2014-01-29 04:16
Jayne
After an age of reading and being, then that desolate darkness
being extinguished,with an inexplicable, sound wave of light.
There you have the reward of being calmer and beginning to believe in that inner self.
Lovely write and so true of you, take care and know we are there with you always, Yours Ian.T and my Friends xx
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Seren
Thu, 2014-01-30 07:43
Ian
It is so, there is still a sadness but it has to be dealt with internally and mentally but deal we must eh ?
I can see the beauty and it gob smacks me, just a reach away but the veils of sadness blur their beautiful lines sometimes.
Very happy you liked this one its a work in progress
much love always JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats