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Romance In The Night
As the song of the crickets greets the night,
a gentle breeze caresses the land
and leaves rustle on trees under moonlight
while a lovers' kiss blooms in romance.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Vivovon
Thu, 2016-09-01 15:40
Mandolins in the moonlight
Well, I still remember "Mandolins in the moonlight."
"As time goes by" " The world will always welcome lovers", some quotes from "Casablanca" (1942).
xxxxx
alidzain
Fri, 2016-09-02 14:45
Vivovon
Thanks for the visit, the read and comment.
Alid
lovedly
Thu, 2016-09-01 21:03
a lover need not wait.... for the moon nor night's cold breeze
a lover need not wait....
for the moon
nor night's cold breeze
his lips at any time
on his lover's lips
can freeze
ask any lover
if you please
love is no ailment
nor disease
it only helps one
love increase
alidzain
Fri, 2016-09-02 14:46
loved
good one.
Alid
lovedly
Fri, 2016-09-02 18:07
yes thanks
but if you read my Father one
you will say
better well done
alidzain
Sat, 2016-09-03 16:39
Thanks, Mark
Now it sounds better.
Alid