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Rock song
Pen the lines on the back of an envelope
knock out a rock n' roll thrill
killer on the charts
stop the young girls' hearts
trigger some dreams tonight
Chord construction psychic destruction
wrapped up in a haunting beat
feel it smell it cry out wail
sexy swaggering playful intense
angst innocence peace my-god-what-is-this
Swagger strut pull the belly taut
babe is bounding down the lane
bound for good times
looking for a lover
time to break the mold pull the pin and win
So don’t be a tame cowardly lion
roar a little bit growl deep in the throat
swing from the eaves scream
don’t be a fool or play it cool
say baby what time should we leave
Let’s not care what we ought to be doing
it’s a union of souls we seek
bring it all together make the heat hotter
feel it smell it revelation time
make our dreams come true tonight
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2023-05-30 19:12
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Title: Rock song
The poem appears to be an ode to the spirit of rock and roll, capturing the energy, passion, and rebellious nature associated with the genre. Here are some suggestions and observations to consider for further development:
1. Imagery: The poem contains vivid imagery that helps to convey the atmosphere of a rock and roll performance. Lines such as "Chord construction psychic destruction / wrapped up in a haunting beat" and "Swagger strut pull the belly taut / babe is bounding down the lane" effectively evoke the sensory experience of listening to rock music and the attitude associated with it. To enhance the poem's imagery, consider adding more specific details that are unique to the rock and roll experience.
2. Structure: The poem's structure is relatively free-form, which can be fitting for the subject matter. However, it might be beneficial to experiment with a more consistent structure, such as a regular stanza length or a rhyme scheme, to provide a sense of cohesion and rhythm that mirrors the musicality of rock and roll.
3. Language: The poem employs a casual, conversational tone that aligns with the informal nature of rock music. However, some phrases, such as "angst innocence peace my-god-what-is-this," can be difficult to parse. To improve clarity, consider revising such phrases to maintain the casual tone while ensuring that the meaning remains accessible to readers.
4. Theme: The poem's theme of embracing the rebellious spirit of rock and roll is evident throughout. To deepen the exploration of this theme, consider incorporating more specific references to the history or cultural impact of rock music, or by examining the personal significance of rock and roll for the speaker or the audience.
Overall, the poem effectively captures the essence of rock and roll and has the potential to resonate with readers who appreciate the genre. By refining the imagery, structure, language, and theme, the poem can become an even more powerful tribute to the spirit of rock music.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Richard Milne
Sat, 2023-06-03 12:06
Feedback
Thanks for the appraisal. I'll keep what I wrote as is, however.
author commentRoseBlack
Sat, 2023-06-03 09:48
Memories
I am that girl at rock concerts! This brought back all the feels and memories. Great job.
~RoseBlack~
Richard Milne
Sat, 2023-06-03 12:08
To RoseBlack
Keep on rockin'! Thanks for the response.
author comment