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Persist
I reside in the cold hours of dawn
My pain of existence intensifies
Crystal clear clarity pierces right through me
This hate I feel for myself
Freezes in my veins
Hot tears stain my barren cheeks
And scar my imperfect soul
They say you have to love yourself before others can
But self-loathing is already a part of me
My hostility and sorrow make me who I am
So should I just wallow in the egotistical train of thought
and persist in my hurting?
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Eduardo Cruz
Sun, 2011-01-16 01:54
Wow!!
loving yourself for who you are is the answer which you have done here. you are comfortable in the hurting, it is about you no one else. there is love in that, because you don't lie to yourself you recognize what you feel so you live it. when you get tired of it then and only then can you move on. no one can tell you when, that's the beauty of choice. Which is only yours.
I love the the reality of this write and the fact that the darkness is not darkness to you but a place to look into your own psychic.
wonderful, great!!
thanks for posting this beauty
E.C.
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
lou
Sun, 2011-01-16 05:38
Thanks everyone, maybe I
Thanks everyone, maybe I should join Depressives not so Anonymous,( a little black Humour for ya ) lol
Seriously thank you.
hope you are ok xena
Love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Sun, 2011-01-16 05:45
JC
Thanks, i'm well known for my typos
love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Sun, 2011-01-16 05:47
hi
Thank you Ian.
There ia always someone worse off, who usually handles it better than you.
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
judyanne
Sun, 2011-01-16 05:09
awesome write lou
remember kurt cobain's comment
'thanks for the tragedy, it helps my art' (or something like that)
love and hugs
judy
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
lou
Mon, 2011-01-17 03:17
Jude
Do you realise Kurt Cobain would be about 43 now,which is the same age as me?, I don't claim to have his talent though.
love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
mand
Mon, 2011-01-17 00:56
Hi Lou
I love the honesty of your poems.
Excellent poem my friend.
Love Mand xxxx
lou
Mon, 2011-01-17 18:03
Mand
thank you
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Hooded Stranger
Mon, 2011-01-17 18:09
Lou
Lou,
without doubt the best poem you've written to date. Perfectly self-loathing and the edit has tightened it up too.
Can't pick out any favourite lines - they all weave neatly into each other and flow wonderfully well.
Excellent poem!
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
lou
Mon, 2011-01-17 19:58
HS
HS,
Thank you I'm so pleased you liked it.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!