Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

One-eyed Romeo

The grey veil of night
like a baby's breath,
barely alive
weak, and close to death.

My name is Romeo
with but one eye,
it takes but one
to watch you die.

I'll bring a rose
of deepest red,
my gift to you
once you are dead.

I'll bring your burial
gown, this night,
and stitch the back
'till it fits just right.

I'll bring spread wings
of a butterfly's,
to cover but one
of your listless eyes.

I've drawn you to
my secret place,
and your Romeo wore
a mask on his face.

Once I've got you
all dressed for bed,
'tis then you'll lose
your lovely head.

For on this night
though all seemed well,
I've brought you in
to my private hell.

I brought blind luck
on this dank eve,
by wearing my heart
upon my sleeve.

The blood we spilled
more than you know,
helped bring new life
to One-eyed Romeo !

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
For a contest.
Editing stage: 

Comments

one eyed on a 12th of July

it's a fantastic poem ... like it were actually meant for Juliet

you depict the creatures
which are a symbol of loss
born under the sign of Julius Caesar

Had there been no Brutus Leo
Caesar would have remained unknown

my maiden comment
You depict a Cancerian
as one eyed Jack
hope not many here
would want ,
you to run for a sack

loved

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.