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Monsters
The monster is death,
We all encounter when it steals our breath,
It's terrifying,
Feels anything but satisfying,
It bites, and claws,
It's venom spreads,
Clenching it's jaws,
Around our heads,
Wish upon a comet,
Bright streak in the sky,
About to vomit,
From getting too high,
Bitter sensation,
Infected with poison,
Burned by escalation,
It's overwhelming force,
Puts us in the ground,
We can't change course,
Only reality will be found,
Repeating our own lies,
That monsters aren't real,
It hurts to know family dies,
What an experience to have to feel,
Can't escape through a portal,
After all we are only mortal.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This is about death anxiety and anticipatory grief.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Mon, 2023-08-14 03:23
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Monsters" effectively explores the theme of death and the fear it instills in us. The use of vivid imagery, such as the monster's biting, clawing, and venom spreading, creates a sense of terror and unease. The comparison to a comet streaking across the sky adds an interesting layer of metaphor, suggesting that death can come suddenly and unexpectedly.
The repetition of the phrase "monsters aren't real" in the last stanza reinforces the idea that we often try to deny or ignore the reality of death, but ultimately we are unable to escape its grasp. The closing line, "After all we are only mortal," serves as a reminder of our own mortality and the inevitability of death.
One suggestion for improvement would be to vary the rhyme scheme and meter throughout the poem. Currently, the poem follows a consistent AABB rhyme scheme and a mostly consistent meter, which can make the poem feel somewhat predictable. Experimenting with different rhyme patterns and meters could add more musical
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