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Marvelous Melodies

Fogged over glass
broken shards tinted grey,

reminiscent friends, and family
with an eye upon my way.

My perpetual, inner longing
for those days will never end,

through all these hidden agendas
I can't see one true friend.

Am I blind? Or getting slower?
By each legacy that's made,

or am I clearly seeing visions
of values, that seem to fade?

Far be it from me to accept the role
of the corrector in such a land,

if I were even to suggest they're in error
I'd be dead before I took a stand!

Maybe that's the reason I find solace
in the things that matter most,

I marvel at life's melodies
and, try and sing them with all I've got.

I'd rather not start a ruckus
because I know it would make things worse,

so I'll keep a real low profile
while humming songs to avoid that curse.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

much better than your trite rhyming crap.

This is it.

Real emotion and craft.

I salute you.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

...it's happened, again. I have yet to hear back from Andrew, probably from all of the havoc created from the hurricane; but I can no longer edit.
My view of new.neopet.com is almost completely black, again There is but a sliver a the bottom of my page; so I can't find the edit button.
When it's not the one thing.......it's the other. Thanx for the comment.
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
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