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Lovestruck
Life was lived in moments
letting them slip
like sand through fingers
walking past them
leaving footprints
to be swept by a tide
little did the tide know
what those footprints had to say
the sand kept those secrets
till they wore away
like sea shells
Style / type:
Free verse
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Tue, 2015-10-06 15:16
Hi raj
No chopped prose here!. In my opinion a most excellent free verse with good use of metaphor.......stan
raj
Tue, 2015-10-06 15:21
Thanks Stan for your time,
Thanks Stan for your time, visit and comment..
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Tue, 2015-10-06 21:14
you are raj
just
A S T O U N D I N G
Rula
Fri, 2015-10-09 12:08
"little did the tide know
"little did the tide know
what those footprints had to say
the sand kept those secrets
till they wore away
like sea shells"
Raj, this is specially awesome!!
PS. Is Lovestruck one word?
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Fri, 2015-10-09 13:58
Thanks Rula for the time,
Thanks Rula for the time, visit, read and comment. Good to know you liked the second portion of verses...
Not sure if it should be Lovestruck or Love Struck or any other title..
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Sat, 2015-10-10 09:33
The title
can be anything you feel the poem conveys.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Sat, 2015-10-10 14:21
Rula, I am still thinking
Rula, I am still thinking about a change in the title.
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Seren
Sat, 2016-03-05 12:44
little did I know
I was going to come across this
What beautiful freeverse I feel privelaged to read poetry this good and be lucky enough to be able to discuss it with the poet ..
This is profoundly good my friend .. such a pleasure to read ... sigh
Love Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
raj
Sat, 2016-03-05 13:42
Hi Jayne
thanks for the read and your comment which will inspire me to write better...
Take good care..be well..
Much love and warm hugs...
raj (sublime_ocean)