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I Crave the Darkness
I crave the darkness
It matches my mood.
These days all is solitude.
I devour the murky shadows,
I feel safe there,
I can hide and no one knows.
I examine the world beneath my shroud
bleakness is where I lay my self down,
Night time is my lover
Life is close enough to watch
But not so near I can touch.
Nobody can hurt me
Maybe someone will teach me how
To climb out of this mire.
Until then I'll stay undercover
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
lou
Sat, 2011-01-22 05:11
Jaycee
The things I write fall into 3 categories total fiction, autobiographical, , and semi autobiographical. This one is in the semi camp,on a good day, autobiographical on a bad day.
Love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Hooded Stranger
Tue, 2011-01-25 12:54
Lou
Lou,
2011 has seen a real change in your writing - this one is superb, and I only just commented on another one of yours that was equally as well written.
Sorry to sound like a broken record, but yet again you've written an 'in your face' piece.
Loved this stanza most:
Life is close enough to watch
But not so near I can touch.
Nobody can hurt me
I can understand that - being so close yet miles away. Brilliant stanza.
Small issue:
I crave the darkness
It matches my mood.
These days all is solitude.
the last line doesn't quite make sense. Maybe:
All these days in solitude?
Despite that slight issue, this stands head and shoulders above many poems currently on the stream...except for any of mine of course!! Lol!
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
lou
Sat, 2011-01-22 08:01
HS
HS
i'm really flattered, by what you have said. It really means a lot to know you, think i'm a decent writer.
Thanks, your quite good as well lol
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Esker
Sun, 2011-01-23 22:10
"night time is my lover"
this is a more sensitive write
but that line caught me
I never rested until all were alseep
calm the house dark
or on my own or tending houses
the night was without distractions
I could forget how bad the day was
it never judged
I had forgotten this
your writing re awakens so much
Thank You
lou
Sun, 2011-01-23 23:32
Esker
Your welcome
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Mon, 2011-01-24 08:52
Joe
Thank you so much
lou xx
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-01-25 12:06
Dear Lou,
In order to show you how I really feel about your poem, I would have to quote the whole piece back to you. I LOVED every line and related to them. I can't find the words to say enough about your wonderful dark side!
love, eddy (and Cat)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
lou
Tue, 2011-01-25 13:47
(eddy) and Cat
It means alot to me that you are so impressed.
love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
KINGZOMBIE
Tue, 2011-03-01 13:16
"I Crave the Darkness"
I would like to say that I love this title, and I agree with Cat, I like every line.it was a very enjoyable read and is one that I relate to deeply.I wish that there was more I could say but everybody covered everything already.Thanks for sharing Lou.
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"For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?"
lou
Tue, 2011-03-01 14:10
hi
Thanks im glad you enjoyed it.
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!