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Face Your Destiny
Do you believe you can attain your dreams
without the sweat of true dedication?
You hope to receive when you've done nothing,
but there're no rewards for missing actions
A stagnant life, collecting fantasies
worth nothing in the face of reality
Reach for the fire within and commit
your heart and soul to embrace a purpose!
May perseverance be the steel of will.
and you'll be, a gift to all, not a curse
Face your destiny wiith pride and courage
as a true warrior in the coming of age
Rise when you fall and continue the fight
failures will make your victory sweeter
as long as you refuse to surrender
a day will come when you'll be the winner!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Seren
Fri, 2015-04-24 16:41
Hello hon
I am still very sick I'll keep it short you have come a long way since you started here but I still feel there's so much more you've not shown us yet, I liked the poem very much so ill come back tonight its 7am I've been up all night lol opps ... I'll make one or two suggestions
Take care love and hugs Jayne xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
alidzain
Fri, 2015-04-24 17:45
Hi Jayne
I'm sorry to hear that you're still sick. Will be waiting for your suggestions. You take care, my friend.
Alid
emeka ozurumba
Mon, 2015-04-27 04:43
rudyard kipling
his poems are a reminder, that you write something very inspirational, just like him
alidzain
Mon, 2015-04-27 16:00
Thanks, Emeka
for the visit and the comment.
Alid
raj
Mon, 2015-04-27 12:48
I liked this Alid
I liked this Alid
raj (sublime_ocean)
alidzain
Mon, 2015-04-27 16:01
Thanks, Raj
Glad you like this.
Alid