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EVE edit
EVE
A little blue sky
a little sunshine
some clouds strolling by
a day to be alive.
But Eve is gone.
Passed just yesterday
time to cry
time to pray
time to mourn a friend,
though pain seems to end
it lingers still
in the heart
a little blue sky
a little sunshine
some clouds strolling by
a day to be alive
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Mon, 2015-01-26 11:03
Wow!
This is intriguing in a way. The double meaning of the title gives the reader a food for thought.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Geremia
Mon, 2015-01-26 14:20
Thanks, Rula. joe
Thanks, Rula.
joe
alidzain
Mon, 2015-01-26 14:09
Hi Geremia
good one.
Alid
Geremia
Mon, 2015-01-26 14:21
I guess I hit the mark from
I guess I hit the mark from time to time. Thank you, my friend.
joe
lovedly
Mon, 2015-01-26 18:28
you always hit the bull
and always shall
we all are here to glow
only coz of you Joe
Geremia
Tue, 2015-01-27 10:29
You have a kind heart, dear
You have a kind heart, dear friend,
jow
lovedly
Tue, 2015-01-27 12:59
and thats all we need
share and believe
twill lend more life
more air
than a simple hello
twill not do
so 4 folks like you i care
read my poetry
'half life
and then you will see
what i did once
when I was at sea
you now see
judyanne
Tue, 2015-01-27 04:48
stanza three
seems to me to be contradictory to itself
I would say more like
'Pain diminishes
to linger sweetly
in the heart'
- just the way I read it Joe
I love the imagery of the first stanza, and its repetition at the end
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Geremia
Tue, 2015-01-27 10:28
Thanks, Judyann, I needed to
Thanks, Judyann, I needed to rhyme END with FRIEND.
judyanne
Tue, 2015-01-27 11:40
then how about something like
Though pain may seem to end
Still it lingers sweetly
In the heart
just me of course Joe
But it seems to me that if pain ends, it doesn't linger...
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Geremia
Tue, 2015-01-27 13:45
ok Made a change. :) joe
ok Made a change. :)
joe