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Calibration
The other side of my shadow,
a demon peeking around the corner,
I took a walk in the meadow,
feeling like inside possessed by a foreigner,
now its time to crawl down from the hill,
a new mountain with a higher summit,
on a search for something to fill,
30,000 feet in a plane about to plummet,
I cant feel time itself, its still,
background radiation in my soul,
she told me put it down, fill that hole,
getting enraged and out of control,
my demons mock me when I try,
they sealed me the first time I got high,
as I came to the end of my relentless journey,
letting go of toxins that no longer serve thee,
it was now, at the end, that a new feeling came,
elation that made me never feel the same
if this is the end, how long does this feeling last,
can we withdraw from this spell they cast,
time to not think anymore, let all things go,
evil particles being cleansed from my blood so slow,
the next feeling I have will be my first,
this is the conclusion of a choice you will want reversed.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-07-07 15:12
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Calibration" explores themes of inner turmoil, self-discovery, and the desire for change. The imagery and metaphors used throughout the poem effectively convey a sense of unease and the struggle to find resolution. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened:
1. Structure and Flow: The poem lacks a consistent structure, which can make it feel disjointed at times. Consider organizing the poem into stanzas or sections to create a more cohesive flow. This will help guide the reader through the progression of ideas and emotions.
2. Clarity of Ideas: While the poem touches on various emotions and experiences, some of the ideas could benefit from further development and clarity. For example, the lines "she told me put it down, fill that hole" and "getting enraged and out of control" could be expanded upon to provide more context and depth to the narrative.
3. Imagery and Metaphors: The poem contains several strong images and metaphors
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