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Broken Dreams
When the moon doesn’t sleep
Only the dreams can haunt and creep
His eyes burn like flames
He is the only one to blame
A fit of anger built up higher than the eye can see
With dreams of doubt and failure
Broken images for the night’s natural treasure
A timeless world with no name or pleasure
A place far from the ones you love
Far apart from the dead for years
In a world that won’t share your tears
Only in memories do the dead reappear
A jail with no walls, expands when you overstep its boundaries
Its comfort zone grows in small or large quantities
Saddest of sounds, a heart that doesn't want to beat anymore
But one knows somewhere its heart is adored
The moon is tired of the repeating nights
With no time to lash out or energy to fight
Awake with the moon, he can’t sleep
A strong reality whose truth is deep
His mind will dance in the moonlight
As he thinks of all the times he’s wronged, not right
They all know who I am,
A kid that struggles with being a man
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Sun, 2022-07-24 21:14
One small thing
I like this one. Love it actually. I’m a 43 year old boy. Kinda like Peter Pan (without the tights or feathered cap). The only thing that I picked up on was this last line in this stanza
The moon is tired of the repeating nights
With no time to lash out or energy to fight
Awake with the moon, he can’t sleep
A strong reality that’s truth is deep
That last line
A strong reality that is truth is deep?
Did you mean
A strong reality that’s truth deep
Or
A strong reality whose truth is deep
Other than that it is a cool poem. Makes make feel some bitter sweet nostalgia.
Take my suggestions lightly. Good job on this,
Tim
Joe Cercone
Tue, 2022-07-26 09:41
Thanks Tim, I appreciate that
Thanks Tim, I appreciate that. I fixed it too whose truth is deep, makes more sence now!
Much appreciated,
Joe
Jackweb
Fri, 2022-07-29 11:21
Hello !
I really liked the premise on which your poem was built.
Emotionally stabbed and intriguing poem.
You have the mastery of using personification to bring your idea to light.
Excellent!
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Joe Cercone
Sun, 2022-07-31 20:14
Thanks Jackweb!
Thanks Jackweb!
I am grateful for your kind words!
I look forward to writing more that you enjoy reading!
Ray Whitaker
Fri, 2022-07-29 16:13
Welcome to Neopoet!
Interesting piece here. I like the stanzas form you chose.
To me, there are two pieces within the poem you posted. Each are thoughtful, meaningful.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Joe Cercone
Sun, 2022-07-31 20:12
Thank you Mr. Whitaker!
Thank you Mr. Whitaker!
I really apprciate your input on my poem.
Joe
Ray Whitaker
Wed, 2022-08-03 21:02
Mr. Whitaker was my Dad
He’s buried in .Arlington Nat’l Cemetery since 2010.
Please call me Ray, my friend.
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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