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Beaming Joy ( Exploration style, subject, critique WS)
Sun beams through crystal
a dioptrical rainbow
a marked refraction
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
judyanne
Sun, 2015-05-24 07:20
what is your subject again Rula?
A lovely haiku.... but I don't pick your subject.... so I went back and see it is 'dish' .... sorry, but I don't picture one.... am I supposed to? Or am I missing something?
still, a very descriptive write
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Rula
Sun, 2015-05-24 08:04
I thought
Crystal is an indirect citation of the dish though I agree it could be a glass or anything else.
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wesley snow
Sun, 2015-05-24 19:09
A prism.
I saw a candy bowl.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Rula
Tue, 2015-05-26 13:06
it is prisim
I wanted to create a joyful, colorful little piece.
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Pugilist
Mon, 2015-05-25 11:53
I had to return to the list as well
While the inference was not directly clear, I can make the connection between the subject and the haiku.
My only concern was the last line, "fraction" just doesn't feel right. I would try to work "refraction" into the line.
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Jonathan Moore
Rula
Tue, 2015-05-26 13:07
thank you
Edits done.
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alidzain
Tue, 2015-05-26 14:37
Salam, Rula
good one
Alid