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‘The Builder’
He worked with his hands, worn and weathered,
From years of toil and labour,
His trade was that of a brickkie,
Building was his favour.
Taking time to unwind,
Playing snooker or cards,
It’s only right,
When you’ve worked so hard.
Through decades, countless bricks
Have passed through this man’s hand,
His needs were simple, a fag, a trowel,
Some cement, and some sand.
Working his craft, creating homes for many to enjoy,
With care and dedication, ever since he was a boy,
The trowel is now still, the mixer is silent,
No more building will he endeavour,
Yet his work will stand the test of time,
And his memory will last forever.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2023-08-16 12:40
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2023-08-16 06:53
hello W C,
your poem reminds me of a dear friend of mine who lives in Ireland. and your poem made me smile with loving eyes. welcome to Neopoet, I hope you will often grace us with your wisdom in both poetry and critique!
*always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
WealdenCelebrant
Thu, 2023-08-17 14:18
Hello
Thank you Cat, I try and include humour where possible (and appropriate).
I was a Prison Governor for 26 years before changing my career path and only then did i discover that I'm dyslexic.
author commentWealdenCelebrant
Thu, 2023-08-17 14:18
Hello
Thank you Cat, I try and include humour where possible (and appropriate).
I was a Prison Governor for 26 years before changing my career path and only then did i discover that I'm dyslexic.
author commentGeezer
Wed, 2023-08-16 11:47
I see that...
you are or were primarily a rhymer. When people make the leap to free verse, it is hard to leave the rhyme behind.
You did well in getting the idea of a builder that built houses all his life and now that he has passed from this life, the houses that he built, will hold other lives for many years to come. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
WealdenCelebrant
Thu, 2023-08-17 14:20
Thank You
Yes, i would like to diversify and broaden my ability from rhyme only - I love the creativity and sentiment that poems can bring.
author commentAlex Tanner
Wed, 2023-08-16 17:39
The Kind
The kind of poetry I like. Alex
WealdenCelebrant
Thu, 2023-08-17 14:21
Thank you Alex
Thats very kind - thank you
author commentLavender
Thu, 2023-08-17 23:22
The Builder
Hello!
Your clever title brought me in, and I was so pleased. He not only built homes, but good character and memories that will last forever. Very nice.
Thank you,
Lavender
WealdenCelebrant
Fri, 2023-08-18 06:04
Thank you Lavender
Your username has brought back memories of where I used to work (we used to provide all of the Lavender to Anita Roddick of the Bodyshop).
:-)
author commentLavender
Fri, 2023-08-18 10:40
What an honor that must have been...
to be associated with such an amazing woman and life-changing organization(s)!
L
WealdenCelebrant
Sat, 2023-08-19 11:56
Lavender
It was, I was a prison governor and Bodyshop provided all the necessary equipment and my residents got work experience and a wage.
author comment