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Stain
Stain
Hemlock creeping through my veins.
Limbs numb by degrees .
But my ability to live remains.
Losing everything slashing imperceptibly
no visible mark, or contusions.
successive illusions.
Mental strain unapparent
Internalized, coiled within my guts
Holding on so as not to cause pain
Can't fool or hide from myself,
but no one else can detect
that I am eviscerated.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
lou
Sat, 2011-08-27 06:33
Xena
Your wee brain did very well LOL !!!
The poem refers to the mental strain caused by medical issues. Glad you liked it. Note to self, must cheer up LMAO !!
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
weirdelf
Sat, 2011-08-27 22:01
This touched me deeply.
I believe I know where you are coming from.
Well constructed free verse and an awesome ending
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
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lou
Sat, 2011-08-27 22:32
Jess
Thank you.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!