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Observation - entry three the paralytic diaries
Booze Hound entry three
Noticed Lou watching me
Typing upon her iPad
Furiously recording
my mishaps and my triumphs
God that bitch is scary
Tried to lose her
Running down side streets
Dodging into pubs
Breathless and about to pass out
drenched in alcohol laced sweat
Hiding in doorways
But she still observes
I fall over and play dead
On a pillow made of my own vomit,
she still pursues, and posts my news
Booze Hound and his daily abuse.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
lou
Tue, 2011-08-30 06:07
Just to make it clear
Im not Booze Hound, nor is he one of many personalities I'm channeling, lol!!
He is purely fictitious , and was created for the purpose of writing a series of poems
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-08-30 07:05
Chuck the ipad!
Though I wish I had one. To record just as you expressed, and not "I had a cup of coffee".
This is what it is all about. An excellent poem.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
lou
Tue, 2011-08-30 08:53
Jess
Thank you
Loi
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Tue, 2011-08-30 17:14
Eph
thank you , ill make the changes you mentioned.
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Wed, 2011-08-31 11:54
LOL
Rosi and Lou, sounds like a kids show my nephews used to watch. I think it was called Rosie and Jim. LMAO !!!
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Thu, 2011-09-01 01:05
Rosi
It was about 2 rag dolls on a narrow boat, god it was boring , but I had to watch it as I was looking after my nephews, who loved it.
I preferred it when they started watching He-Man, Thundercats and Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. LOL!!!
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
weirdelf
Wed, 2011-08-31 13:49
Oh, and it is terribly important to spell your title correctly
pursuit
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry