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Lauren ikon

lauren ikon's picture
General Member
St. Louis, Missouri,
United States

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I see eyes shrinking
and limbs twitching
like neurotic fish.

I hear the crackling
of freezerburned skin,
the bursting of scarred
sockets.

I taste the icy sludge,
the bitter gout of blood
lingering on the lips–

like this dead winter.

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
4.5
Average: 4.5 (2 votes)
Submitted by poewriter58 on 4 March 2008 - 2:01pm.
poewriter58's picture

may I suggest

A continuation of this writing to add the senses of touch and smell to complete an already outstanding piece of writing
would you find a name for this as it distresses me to see a creation without a name
look in the body of the poem it is there
Chrys

Submitted by lauren ikon on 4 March 2008 - 2:17pm.
lauren ikon's picture

i plan to finish it, as i

i plan to finish it, as i just kind of got stuck on the other senses.
and unfinished pieces don’t get titles.
but thank you.

Submitted by purplemoondoll on 4 March 2008 - 2:08pm.
purplemoondoll's picture

Loved the images

they really come alive. As it stands I really like this - but I agree with the comment above. It has the potential to be developed further if you wanted to. Maybe if you do a title will come to you. Nice work :-)

Kaz

It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.