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Lauren ikon
United States
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Submitted by lauren ikon on 4 March 2008 - 1:05pm.
I see eyes shrinking
and limbs twitching
like neurotic fish.
I hear the crackling
of freezerburned skin,
the bursting of scarred
sockets.
I taste the icy sludge,
the bitter gout of blood
lingering on the lips–
like this dead winter.
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
(2 votes)
may I suggest
A continuation of this writing to add the senses of touch and smell to complete an already outstanding piece of writing
would you find a name for this as it distresses me to see a creation without a name
look in the body of the poem it is there
Chrys
i plan to finish it, as i
i plan to finish it, as i just kind of got stuck on the other senses.
and unfinished pieces don’t get titles.
but thank you.
Loved the images
they really come alive. As it stands I really like this - but I agree with the comment above. It has the potential to be developed further if you wanted to. Maybe if you do a title will come to you. Nice work :-)
Kaz
It’s impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.