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My Pen
At the sound
Of her voice
Agony grows
Weary
She knows
The pain
Of living with
A two headed demon
That nauseates
Stomachs
She understood
The fear in a voice
The sweat dripping
From palms
Finding safety
From the seed of
Growing paranoia
Dancing on the page
Leaving images behind
Giving birth to words
That saves
Editing stage:
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Comments
Timbo
Fri, 2011-06-03 07:07
an excellent write, Tim
an excellent write,
Tim
Kailashana2
Fri, 2011-06-03 07:52
I nitpick here, Paul
I nitpick here, Paul
I so dislike capitalized words at the beginning of each line, esp. in very short-lined poems such as this,
but it's only me.
The end, however, would work better (not using gerunds but keeping in active present tense).
Dancing on the page
Leaving images behind
Giving birth to words
That saves
(the page dances
leaves images
behind
births words
that (or to) save me
(put yourself back into the poem, Paul) A very fine poem!
~Anna
faithmairee
Thu, 2011-06-09 22:21
Hi Paul
i agree this is excellent....so good to be reading you again :)
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.