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Stampede
Give thanks for the courage
to be who you are,
Feel unashamed of your emotions.
Niceness is not a dirty word.
Gain strength from your vulnerabilities,
fuck those who don’t value and are
blind to your worth.
Learn from your mistakes,
If you allow yourself to be trodden on ,
Then make way for the oncoming stampede.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Hooded Stranger
Tue, 2011-03-29 14:09
Lou
Lou,
can't believe you've not had any comments on this one yet!
Second stanza - brilliant...and possibly ouch!
Last stanza, I think you need to make a slight change:
Learn from your mistakes,
If you allow yourself to be trodden on,
THEN make way for the ONCOMING stampede.
Just a thought.
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
lou
Tue, 2011-03-29 18:12
Dan
Dan,
thank you, I'm really glad you like this one.
Second stanza , ouch !!!! Lol
I think you are correct about the last line , I will change it.
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
ziggy
Tue, 2011-03-29 15:59
hi there
Louise, a strong message in this write
"Gain strength from your vulnerabilities,
fuck those who don’t value and are
blind to your worth.",,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
lou
Wed, 2011-03-30 04:37
Zigs
Pleased that you like it.
Thanks Bud
Love Louise xx
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
hobo
Fri, 2011-04-01 11:22
very nice
very nice, I love the last paragraph
You can never pick anyone up if you are busy putting them down
lou
Fri, 2011-04-01 13:11
Hi
thanks
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Sun, 2011-04-03 09:55
Jayne
Thanks i'm glad that you enjoyed it.
much love lou xx
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
lou
Sun, 2011-04-03 11:17
Xena
thanks
lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!