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Nightscape
shadows slowly lengthen
disappearing gently
into silhouettes
one act follows another
in a harmonic motion
birds return to nests
to chirpy welcome of mates
snuggling together
moon takes center stage
for a romantic ballet
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
raj
Thu, 2020-07-30 02:04
Thanks Teddy
for taking time to read. Good to know you liked it and found it gorgeous.
thanks again...
raj (sublime_ocean)
c lynn brooks
Wed, 2020-07-29 15:11
Raj
awww how pretty is this poem especially the birds I hear them at night getting ready for bed(the birds that is lol) I find nothing to add or correct
Raj this poem had a very soothing affect on this reader
Chrys
check out our chat room open to all 24/7
raj
Thu, 2020-07-30 02:06
Hi Chrys
thanks for taking time to read. Good to know you liked this poem and it had a soothing effect.
thanks again..
raj (sublime_ocean)
Gracy
Wed, 2020-07-29 16:34
Hello raj, what lovely, well
Hello raj, what lovely, well crafted poems. One is a perfect haiku, it's almost alive. Could you please explain the whole structure, because I see you have some 2-liners in between. Does it have a distinct name and form?
Thanks so much for sharing your art with us, Gracy
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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury
raj
Thu, 2020-07-30 02:13
Hello Gracy
thanks for taking time to read and your comment....coming from learned poets like you it's like tonic to an amateur like me..
as to the form of 5 liner poem with first three lines having 5-7-5 followed by next two of 7-7 syllables, it is a Japanese form called Tanka... a series of them is called Renga though supposed to be written by two people...Barbara used to conduct workshops on them in the past...
thanks again...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Geezer
Thu, 2020-07-30 09:04
How nice...
to have learned something that will bring pleasure. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
raj
Thu, 2020-07-30 12:44
Thanks Geezer
for visiting this page and your comment...
be well..
raj (sublime_ocean)