Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Dear Jess
Your critique was as sandpaper.
smoothing my poetry's jagged edges
so that they might emerge better than ever;
In your ruthlessness, I saw true kindness.
You laid my valued works in your furnace,
though its raging flame burned my fame,
but each came out purer, more of a masterpiece;
mending my scorched glory and fixing my shame.
They have been tempered, and now shine like gold;
and your splendorous unquenchable light,
of nobility will always be my foothold
on my pathway to the literary height
You were as a real adversary
while polishing my artistry.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2020-02-21 09:56
This is...
my take on your poem, I'm not sure how Jess would have done it, but here goes.
Your critique was as sandpaper
smoothing my poetry's jagged edges
so that they might emerge better than ever
In your ruthlessness, I saw true kindness
You laid my valued work in your furnace
and though its' raging flame burned my fame
each came out purer, more of a masterpiece
mending my scorched glory and fixing my shame
They have been tempered, and now shine as gold
with a splendorous and unquenchable light
of nobility and blissfulness
I have basked in the realm of a rare light
You were as a real adversary
while polishing my artistry.
I chose to rewrite some of this as I thought that Jess might have instructed you to
sorry if I failed in any way. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Marvel Godwyn
Fri, 2020-02-21 14:45
Thank you, Geezer, I
Thank you, Geezer, I appreciate your critique . Jess will be greatly missed.
scribbler
Sun, 2020-02-23 16:10
I've decided that I'm not going to critique any of the poems
dedicated to Jess which will likely have him rolling in his grave. But your poem is a good one in my estimation
Marvel Godwyn
Mon, 2020-02-24 01:31
Thank you so much, Scribbler
Thank you so much, Scribbler. I so much appreciate your feedback.
lovedly
Mon, 2020-02-24 03:21
the ones gone
can now never know
Compose more
as you have learned
bless Jess
should be your goal