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Docmaverick

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Lifetime Founding Member
southern california,
United States

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Style / Type: 
Western Classic

I was riding the bus

it seemed like for hours,

when I noticed an older man

and he was holding some flowers.

I kept admiring them

now and again,

when he suddenly came over

and said, “Excuse me, friend…

I noticed you looking

at the flowers, and me,

and I think that my wife

would like you to have them, you see.

I’ll simply explain

that I gave them away,

to a nice stranger I met

on my bus ride, today.”

Well, I thanked him, and watched him

exit the bus all alone,

and walk into a small cemetery

and kneel at a lone headstone.

 

4
Average: 4 (2 votes)
Submitted by Prototype on 2 August 2007 - 2:12pm.
Prototype's picture

Well, well

Well i liked to read it. It make your head thing, and that’s good. I only think that the title could me more … hmm… diferent!

Submitted by poet_inside on 2 August 2007 - 11:10pm.
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Poetic indeed, this was a

Poetic indeed, this was a very good read, it was sweet and sad at the same time. Thanks for the read!!!!

Brittany Rae

Submitted by A. M. Painter on 3 August 2007 - 2:40am.
A. M. Painter's picture

Hm

after i read this that was litterly my reaction, i liked this peice.
a. m. painter

Submitted by weirdelf on 3 August 2007 - 4:24pm.
weirdelf's picture

very affective story,

i personally think you lose a bit of direct emotional connection by stretching for rhyme.
cheers,
Jess