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Submitted by purplemoondoll on 2 August 2007 - 7:57am.| Updated 9 September 2007 - 7:58pm.
Come walk with me in soft enchantment.
See the Moon in changeling guise.
Silver now to blood red turning.
Cloaked, she waits ‘neath dark’ning skies.
Come dance with me in dark enchantment.
In wild abandon hear the song.
Dark desire and dreams are stirring.
Steadfast now we move as one.
Come sing with me of wild enchantment
‘Neath moonless sky within the green.
Call Her now before the firelight.
Magic holds you, soft, unseen.
Come sit with me in sweet enchantment
Till the spell is rightly done.
Raise the chalice, thank the Mother
Starve the fire and journey home.
(8 votes)
Wow!
I love this piece. A real gem. And so well written.
Thanx,
Chuck
PS: Might be tempted to alter darkening to dark’ning at the end of the first stanza. The only other thing I’d choose would be till for your ‘til. The dictionaries appear to agree there’s no such word as ‘til for until: It’s always till for until. I know it’s commonly spelled that way—that is, as ‘til—but …
(Just another apparent oddity of English.)
Thanks Chuck!
Thanks Chuck!
Have edited the piece to include your suggestions - very much appreciated!
Best wishes - Kaz x
Whoops!
Close … not quite there yet. Delete the apostrophe from your Till, and I’d be more than happy to post this edited one on my wall.
Thanx for a delightful read.
Yours,
Chuck
Another PS
Love your language choices in this piece.
Yours,
Chuck
I love this
do you know the work of John Masefield?
Reminds me of this. His poem “Jane” is an icon for me.
“perfect in tune, in time and bringing,
a deathlessness to mortal me”
cheers,
Jess
has a classic
incantational feel to it. Reminds me alot of a band out of Cambridge, Massachussetts named “The Moors.” Half of their songs are in English, half in Gaelic and are very naturalistic. “Stand as one” feels a bit unsteady for me, but at 3:37 A.M. that might just be me right at this moment.
Mark
Thank you!
I just returned from a lovely trip to find Enchantment and Within the Green have both been in the spotlight!! WOW cant tell you how chuffed I am - thank you! Kaz x
Wonderful voice
It is just so nice to read - thanks,
Mark
Well Done
I like this it has a good rhythm and flow to it. i dont realy know much about poetic stucture or anything but if i did i would say this was very well written, which even i can see that, and i dont know anything about that stuff… am i even making any sense? if-so-facto, it was a well written peice!
Washington Fear
Brilliant
Kaz, absolutely BRILLIANT ! I was in your spell whilst reading this beautifully weaved classic.
Lenny
Thanks Lenny
And everyone else for you lovely comments - have to admit this is one of my favourites! Kaz
I love this!
I love it, love it, love it! It takes me to a beautiful place in my mind. Thanks for stoking my imagination.