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Wesley's quatrain (The Bottom Line Workshop)
Here is my quatrain. I have scanned it as an example, but no one need scan theirs. After posting we all will have a go at doing so in discussion.
A quatrain metric’lly commendable
is what I write for you my students fair.
In Iamb using five poetic feet,
the nuts and bolts of meter practical.
A qua- / train me- / tri-c’lly / com-men- / da-ble
is what / I write / for you / my stu- / dents fair.
In I- / amb u- / sing five / po- e- / tic feet,
the nuts / and bolts / of me- / ter prac- / ti-cal.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
We don't seem to be listed in the worshops. So if everyone could please put the workshop in their title, I will try to figure out why we aren't there. Thanks.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Sun, 2013-09-15 13:59
We are listed Boss
but you were not added to the participant's list. You added me but forgot to add yourself
I've just added you sir!
Try the workshop drop list now
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wesley snow
Sun, 2013-09-15 15:46
I am such a dufus.
It's a good thing I have you to take care of me.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Rula
Sun, 2013-09-15 15:55
dufus?!
What a word! But it's sure not you.
Have you tried the workshop drop list yet?
it must work by now.
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Rula
Mon, 2013-09-16 01:13
here comes the issue
I think that all new learners of meter shall face.
When I started learning all this stuff, I knew N OTHING about
the stressed, unstressed syllables in English. I Had then to check
EVERY word in the dictionary.
I believe very few have the talent of hearing it (I mean the stressed syllable)
while reading aloud and it really takes time to master it. So the dictionary shall
be the reference so often for many when they write in strict meter as required
in this drill.
Where lies the problem? You might ask.
NO dictionary I have checked would ever STRESS the last syllable in words such as commandable and practical.
Sorry if I am speaking on behalf of the others. I think it is a pain all shall suffer. You're the doctor here and you need to relief such a pain, :)
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Ian.T
Mon, 2013-09-16 04:31
Wesley
Not a bad try at this workshop lol.
Discounting the flair for the workshop
I would have liked a piece of poetic beauty from you.
I would hate to see one of your instruction manuals.
Good attempt though, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
wesley snow
Mon, 2013-09-16 11:36
Rula brings up a good point.
The last syllable in both "commendable" and "practical" are known as "soft" stresses (as opposed to a "hard" stress as coMENdable). These stresses are often "thrown away". Meaning they are lightly stressed, but they are accented nonetheless.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about