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JUST ONE DROP
MAN AND SOCIETY
JUST ONE DROP
Just one drop, I requested
For the great red sea
Burns like a volcano.
Just one drop, I pleaded
For my bones are like a feeble foundation
Carrying a five storey building.
Just one drop, I begged
For my skin is folding
And I'm just twenty years of age.
Just one drop, I needed
For my heart can't produce tears
Which flow round my body.
I saw plenty in your house
Yet you declined my request.
I saw you waste plenty
Yet you said you had none.
I saw them, bottles upon bottles
Stacked together, listening to your lies.
Why did you forsook my call?
Just a drop, a life would have lived.
Copyright©styles goodluck
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
chima ononogbu
Mon, 2019-09-16 08:05
The poem is beautiful. But
The poem is beautiful. But the ending would have sounded a little better and intense if the refrain 'for just a drop' had been placed alone at the very bottom. Overall, the work is convincing. Thanks for sharing.
Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.
Styles
Mon, 2019-09-16 11:25
Thanks!
Thanks!
cathy mccormick
Thu, 2019-09-19 02:30
welcome styles. i love this
welcome styles. i love this poem. it could refer to so many things, each reader might think of something different. it also has a powerful message. great work
Styles
Thu, 2019-09-19 22:53
Thank you granny
Thank you granny
ROSYME
Tue, 2019-10-08 16:01
very nice freestyle
When I came to this site
'twas mostly Western Style only
recalling as most do still
past poets turning in their graves
I found quatrains boring
posted many
edited by Aussies best poets
But then I forced my way
like does a river
had to meander
now i am so happy
to see
after composing decades in freestyle
all youngster have now their own
moving swimming freestyle style
good style
your style,
But I had to compose a quatrain for the current competion can you gloss over it o lovely poet
Styles
Wed, 2019-10-16 06:20
Hi there!
Hi there!
That's for you comment. I definitely would love to check it out but I don't know where to find it