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Submitted by poewriter58 on 4 February 2008 - 9:37pm.| Updated 4 February 2008 - 10:16pm.
Style / Type:
freeform
Let these tears heal your heart
Let them wash away the pain
Rest your head upon this shoulder
That I may breathe the essence of
Desires sweet refrain
Enfold me in your warmth
Let my lips lightly brush your skin
All the while let them whisper
Of your beauty without and within
Let my velvet touch erase the worry
From your troubled brow
Let me rid you of the past
For we are here and now
May your eyes be lost in mine
May my eyes drown in yours
May they find the answers to what
They went searching for
Then should the morning find us
Entwined in each others being
We’ll leave the echoes of the night
To desires sweet refrain
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Please do not critique mechanics. The inconsistencies in style are intentional, or correcting them is not important to me.
only that I hope you enjoy
(4 votes)
Desires Sweet Refrain
Yes, I did enjoy this one, every last line! Beautiful thanks for posting ~Janice~
Janice
Thank you so much this poem is very close to my heart I appreciate your comment
Chrys
You’re very welcome my
You’re very welcome my pleasure!
Desires Sweet Refrain
Hey Chrys,
I love the rhyme scheme in the first four stanzas. It is a beautifully sweet poem by someone with a gentle soul. Cat
reply
as Always
Thank you Cat
Chrys
What’s not to enjoy? This
What’s not to enjoy? This is a lovely tender and gentle expression of love and fulfilled desire. One can only wish the lovers well, and maybe envy them, just a little.
Mike
“not all matterings of mind equal one violet” ~ e e cummings ~
once again
Thank you Mike. the well wishes are appreciated but premature
I can only hope soon
thanks again
Chrys
Desires Sweet Refrain
wonderful subject and delivery
thank you
thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my work
Chrys
Desires
Very lovely said. A most pleasant read. Love can be so tender and sweet and your poems shows this perfectly. Drachm
Drac
Thank you
Chrys
Beautiful
Simply beautiful, there is no more to say. (applause)
Rett
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Some call me lazy, I prefer Energy Conservationist~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That’s P.C. speak by the way.