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Submitted by professor on 28 November 2008 - 2:04am.
Style / Type:
freeform
Under a pure blue-clouded sky
we walked, and talked,
of certain heaven, you and I.
Even knowing what had seemed
mesmerised in drifting,
stately masses -
azure deep -
their puffed out cheeks -
shape-shifting -
curl soft-billowed into sleep.
We dreamed reflected shafts of light,
that played upon our sheltered eyes;
and teased each ribboned hope’s delight,
with colours of a truth’s disguise
in yellow, Aspen-fingered blue,
bathed in clinging mountain dew;
wetter than this upturned face,
etched by each lying teardrop’s stain,
and promise-broken acid rain,
white kisses of our dead embrace.
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
(3 votes)
professor
This is probably one of the best written pieces I have seen in some time. You’ve captured the emotion, the atmosphere, everything to hold the reader in that moment with you as you describe it.
I think your piece has an echo of the classics.
Wonderful work!
~ Ronda
Echo of the classics
Thankyou Rhonda. Means a great deal coming from you. Yes it does have a classical romantic style i agree and hopefully there is still room for that in modern poetry. My best wishes Keith
Under a blue clouded sky
Keith,
I enjoyed this beautifully descriptive piece.
_____________________________
To write a touching poem,
you must gently stir the soul,
if it brings forth tears or smiles,
then the story was beautifully told.
________Janice Pearce_________
Thanks Janice
Glad you enjoyed it. Keith
Under a Blue clouded, sky
Keith
This is enchanting beautiful my friend…………
Electricblue
Thankyou Maggie
although it is also very sad of course reflecting lovers’ deep laid plans that ultimately led to pain and separation. Keith