Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
nestle in repose
through silent corridors and open doors
I hear dripping taps constant as a
ticking clock, repetitive splotch on the
quite side of a nocturnal dawn.
'tis way past midnight shall
soon sleep on dreamed up illusions,
it's a happy day that light wakes me
from such confusions.
I liaise my static pose
poignant thoughts cling
beneath this veil, untold
tales that fail to fade.
the night she knows
my ailing and woes
requite my retraction
as I nestle in repose.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Kailashana2
Tue, 2011-02-01 17:25
Hi Zigs, I like this poem....
Hi Zigs, I like this poem.... if you don't mind? I've developed a penchant for his type of poetry. Do what you wilst.
through silent corridors and open doors
I hear dripping taps constant as a
ticking clock, repetitive splotches on the
quite side of nocturnal dawn.
tis way past midnight shall I
soon sleep of dreamed illusions,
happy day when light awakens me
from such confusions.
I liaise my static pose
poignant thoughts cling
beneath this veil, untold
tales that fail to fade.
the night knows
my ailing woes
requite the retraction
nestling soon my repose.
ziggy
Tue, 2011-02-01 18:34
hi there
hi, well thank you for taking an interest in this one of mine
and ty for taking the time, to give me your twist on it I might
well use your suggestions
glad you like it ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentlou
Tue, 2011-02-01 18:52
Zigs
it seems you have made the changes we talked about, much better,
beautifully written.
love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
ziggy
Tue, 2011-02-01 19:03
hi louise
well hello there yes I made the changes you offered and you were right
thank you for your help , I'm glad you like it ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentsmilecatcher
Wed, 2011-02-02 09:30
nestle in repose
Hi Ziggy,
I feel the same way about the night. I do like Kailashana's comments. I feel that they make the poem better. I loved the poem. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work...
Dani ( smilecatcher)
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-02-02 11:42
Dear Ziggy,
the night she knows
my ailing and woes
requite my retraction
as I nestle in repose.
I loved this verse. It captures and sums up the feeling throughout! Very well done. I have no suggestions. I also like that the last line is the title of this piece.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-02-04 10:50
Dear Ziggy,
I just stopped by for another read! Still fantastic.
tis way past midnight shall
soon sleep on dreamt up illusions,
it's a happy day that light wakes me
from such confusions.
(suggestions:
'tis and dreamed for dreampt)
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
ziggy
Fri, 2011-02-04 14:23
hi again
O another read that's so good to know
cheers for that and the word edits all
done now, have a good weekend my dear
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentHooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-02-18 12:58
Zigs
Zigs,
sorry for missing this one, it just slipped through the net.
Your first mistake was getting Lou to help with it...she missed the major spelling mistake!! LOL!
You should always send your work to your favourite editor...and drop that Lou girl!! (only kidding Lou)
repeatative - should be "repetitive"
That first stanza is right up my street and done in your 'unique' style...which you know I like.
I thought Anna had pretty much covered any potential changes as I have no more to offer.
You know how I like rhyming, and the last stanza really finished this off a treat...for me.
regards,
HS
--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
ziggy
Fri, 2011-02-18 15:21
hi hood
lol I can't bother you with them all hood, lol
O yes your right about '' repetitive ,,,oops ,,
MR editor strikes again ,,,,,,,cheers ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentHooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-02-18 16:21
Zigs
Zigs:
first stanza last line:
should it be 'quite side of a nocturnal dawn', or should it be 'Quiet?'
cheers,
HS
--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
ziggy
Fri, 2011-02-18 16:44
hi hood
mmm I am not sure to be honest
maybe since it is not the start of a
sentence maybe the way it is but
you must think ''Quite '' ?
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
author commentlou
Mon, 2011-02-28 07:09
Dan
How very dare you lol, ok my spelling is crap, but i was concentrating on the content, of the poem.
SORRY!! Zigs mate,
Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!