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YOUTH'S CHALLENGES

Poetry, challenging to the mind
when youth finds challenge in mere speed.
the subtle thoughts philosophy engenders are overlooked
as dusty tomes descry
it seems they look askance, offended,
if mention of another life is raised;

their gum well chewn in cheek,
tobacco too, their death taste in advance,
they do another dance from ours
whose lives enhanced by deeper thoughts
become enriched beyond the sudden flirt,

as we can stop and seeing nought, can muse,
while others sit in boredom
and accuse us of indulgent drivel,
they know not what they miss,
they know not what they lack,
ignorant of using all their faculties
from which reward is ever given back;

no,
give me my worn tattered sack, they say,
their holey trousers draughty,
their boredom as they wait for time to pass,
their life to pass away, so fast;

and when their youthfulness is gone,
what then, what then can cheer,
no mind developed to enjoy their solitude, the quiet,
as deafened by their loud played music, hearing lost,

they sit and knit their brow,
and dread the aftermath of things that weigh them down,
when wings were waiting when their brains were young,
with which to fly,
all knowledge wisdom brings,
to stoke the fires of life's richly endowed renown.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Last few words: 
Needs working on but the idea is there.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Sadly this piece reminds me of my great neice. She is in her mid twenties and doesn't know how to clean the house, cook, beyond opening a can, or entertain herself. She is sullen because my nephew allowed my sister and her husband to raise his daughter. (he was only sixteen when she was born) She is spoiled rotten and is allowed her every desire, always has been. She admires those who have mental illnesses such as cutting, and tried it for awhile. But quit when she saw the scars were ugly. Her psychiatrist put her on prosac, which she refused to take because she insisted that nothing was wrong with her.She fancies that she can write poetry. Her poetry is self-indulgent at best. Full of self-pity and she romanticises death... not death per se but the act of suicide. She has been fired from the only two jobs she ever had for bad behavior. She and her deadbeat boyfriend live off my sister who is old and sick. Sister is on dialysis and won't last much longer. Tehn the "kid" will be on her own, with no knowledge of how to care for herself and survive.

Great poem. Very descriptive and though invoking.

always. Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Exactly Cat, wow they ae not helped by the parents either these days, in some cases anyway. I know of two who are self sure and will also find life difficult, having been allowed to eat and do what they wanted when they wanted, its no help to them is it. Sad as you say. Thank you, Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment

Oh a visit from youth, for you are youth to me, and such a vibrant creative one too, I admire your industry and hope you reap reward, one usually does, even if it isn't shouted out loud. I for one applaud.

I don't think you can say that I 'trumped' you/me! , We are different, and that makes for the grand variety we see here on Neopoets. You have a youthful panache that is refreshing and new, for me whose wording can sometimes smell of moth balls...perchance!!!!
A lovely critique and I thank you for it Beau...tiful.
Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment

Hello lovely lady of Norway. How are you?

You spelled it out and it read like perfection. The youth of today is nothing like when we were coming up. They must learn the hard knocks of life and some give up too easily. It is society ills of the current that makes one sit back and wonder how we made it through our own days of youth.

Very good write here. Hope all is well by you and Eric. Missed reading you.

Ms Mona

Hello Magic Mona, I wonder how you are, your writing makes me think you are well, Erik is fine despite 86! We go long fast walks in the woods, this shows in my poetry I guess!
love to you Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment

Love to you also and I have missed you. This poem hits me in one more way that I will not say on here. And no not my son..You still have my email to connect there? Love to you and Eric and I miss your pictures too.

Take care lovely lady

Hugs from miles - Ms Mona

but it feels like an excuse for other people's bad poetry. Just because people write it, from their heart, or to express themselves, does not make it good.

Now please tell me to pull my head in. I have been tragically mis-interpreting people's work lately, at times, also nailing it. I have not confidence in my opinion.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Oh no you are right, of course not, I am not judging anyone's poetry, just feeling empathetic sadness at some of today's people in general, (as Cat said so well) and in fact, two people close to me by fate, who don't use themselves to develop and understand more, and enable themselves to take part in this life to the full.

I don't say that I do, and have been blooming lazy when it came to learning abstractly, in maths and grammar, for instance, I like the hands-on reality of immediacy in language, learning by ear all my Norwegian, and am even asked what part of Norway I come from! But I can't write it so well.

I maybe must admit that I am not totally sure what you mean by "an excuse for other people's bad poetry" having got this far to admit it, trying to understand what exactly you mean?

You stick your head out as much as you like, I shall not cut it off.
Opinions are personal things, or whatever one can describe them as...things!!! but subjective, not so often do they become objective, and it all depends on what one knows, what has become a norm in your mind, what you say to other poets about their work, we are here to understand each others expressions, and discussion about that is always interesting.

Not confidence in your opinion, that is a conundrum in a way, but maybe because you have had opposition to your opinion you show a false modesty here to me, I don't know. But one's opinion has to be cloaked in tactfulness when those who write are less gifted in their command of the English language; but honesty is a bonus.

And...when you are in pain, mentally, or physically, many things can grate and form one's opinions causing you to take it out on a poem or a thought, this I can understand, one must be furious with fate and any outlet for one's anger at that can be understood by all.

But even then not taking it out on innocent bystanders. You have always been civil to me; I could imagine crits. that you don't make to me out of some kind of respect for the elderly.wish-wash wobble- I agree I am in a fairy tale-like world of nature, I like it that way, I don't need to sit for hours watching other people kill each other, or do the killing, like the computer games that all seem to be on that subject (weird that), that is not my preferred entertainment, so why should I indulge in it?

Prosaic, yes okay touché I agree.

Yours Ann and a slap of sympathy with your troubles or pains,
you can form your opinions as well as the next man/woman!!!
Not in any way perturbed and I have no isms to 'attack,' :)

OOPs I didn't thank you for your comment,
got carried away in other thoughts 'scue I Jess.
Although, you know, I find even thank you cliché sometimes!!!! :)

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

author comment
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