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On Your Knees...

The night creeps in
on hands and knees
too ashamed to face the day

It gives no clue
of why it cries
if it knows, it wouldn't say

It brings the nightmares
and with it Darkside
pulled from within your shell

Full of teeth and claws
to rip apart your dreams
and take your soul to Hell

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hi Geezer;
Overall, yours is a powerful poem that speaks to me personally. Actually, it is that very last line that reminds me of my frequent nightmares induced by Parkinson's medications. Let me just say: I have been to hell--and one of these nights I may not return. God, these nocturnal terrors I hate. Good write, no nits. Jerry

Glad you liked it, but not that you suffer so. Thanks again, Geezer.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

is a life's shadow
it keeps coming and does go
you Gee
also know
this poem of yours
overshadows

and I never know enough to just wake up! I panic and run! Thanks for stopping by lovedly.~ Gee.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

More horrors and hideousity! More vampires, ghosts and ghouls! I see I shall have to contribute to this dark genre.

xxx
Edna
Poet(ess) to the Stars

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