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Your Demise Became My Desire

You start fights without a cause
Cussed me, then act like the victim
If only I had a missile
Then your mouth would be its target.

Why attack when I'm feeling well?
Starting fights without a cause
Your demise became my desire
Holding back kegs of fiery words.

Your callous, disrespectful taunts
Unrepented, doubling down
To start fights without a cause
Makes me dizzy full of contempt.

If cobra size of a python
I'd wrap my tail around your neck
Spit venom in your eye till blind
Starting fights without a cause.

Editing stage: 

Comments

Remind me not to get on the bad side of you
;)

I really like this - good rhythm

One thing - 'your mouth surely be its target' - I think needs a 'would' - 'your mouth would surely be its target'

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

I hate when I'm in a good place with the hubby, feeling well and he comes in with attitude out of no where. Glad you like it. i had fun imagining his poetic demise. Lol
Would would throw off the 8!syllable count. Any other suggestion?

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

forgot about the syllable count
What about
Then your mouth would be its target....?
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Doubled up - very annoying - I'm sure I only hit 'save' the once
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

it is a powerful and well structured poem. I certainly didn't like the subject matter, but the poetry is first rate.
Well done B.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Well structured, first rate. It's a joy to hear that from you sir. It wasn't written for the contest. I'm on a role writing Quatern. I've written about 10 since getting it mastered for the contest. I'm still writing. If I could just get meter that well. Lol would be a miracle.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

I have added your suggestion. It works just fine.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

author comment

I didn't know you have those criminal thoughts until I read this. Now I should be careful with my comments on your poetry. :)

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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