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You'll Put Your Eye Out... February Contest

Target practice; not supposed to be me
Paper circles in back of the house
Birthday boy, reloading after a win
Bang! Someone punched me in the eye

Walking to Catherine's house
I'm afraid the party's off
She faints and brother Johhny says;"Shit!"
Fast ride to the hospital

Walking, reaching and touching
Was a relearning experience
Not always good
Like a newborn doing small steps

'Nam, was out of the question
I wanted to go
I could shoot better than most with two eyes
I'm glad I didn't have to

Poor and unaware I suffered
Twenty-six years
My bad eye
Glaucoma's party

No coffee, no alcohol or chocolate
I'm mostly free from the hurt
It sucks, I'm Cyclops
But I still see

And life is great books
Beautiful sunsets
My wife's infrequent smiles
And T.V.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
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Comments

My father thought BB guns were a waste of time. If one was old enough for a gun he was old enough for a Real gun. So I got my first at 32.....just kidding lol. But at 10 I was hunting with a shotgun and was lucky that I kept both eyes. I can't imagine living with almost no depth perception but reckon a person can get used to anything............stan

to measure a lot of stuff by the relative size of other things. It's easy for me to judge how close any part of my car is to most things for instance, by knowing just how big my car is. Knowing how big my hand is next to a carton of milk, enables me to judge how far it is when reaching for it. Walking up and down stairs was dicey at first, hence the "baby steps". Sometimes I get fooled and something is slightly bigger or smaller than I think and... I learned to play darts and many other games of skill like horseshoes after my accident. A real gun was out of the question, as my mom and us were on social services and we lived in the city. I bought my first .22 rifle when I got out on my own and was eighteen. It was a single shot lever action that looked like a Winchester. After that, I acquired a number of rifles and shotguns, but my all time favorite was a long barreled Stevens single-bolt action
with a 10x scope,that I used for many years. It took many chucks and squirrels and I was devastated when it was stolen.
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What about my poem? LoL .
.

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win I can get pretty specific. But remember I'm not much at free verse so these ideas might just stink :

Target practice was not supposed to be Me
Paper circles in back of the house
Birthday boy, reloading after a win
Bang! Someone punched me in the eye

Wavering to Catherine's house
afraid the party's off
She faints and brother Johhny says;"Shit!"
Fast ride to the hospital....

Walking, reaching and touching
Was a relearning experience
Not always good
Like a new born doing small steps

'Nam, was out of the question
I wanted to go,
I could shoot better than most with two eyes
retrospectively glad I didn't

Poor and unaware I suffered
Twenty-six years
My bad eye
Glaucoma's party...........excellent line

No coffee, no alcohol or chocolate
I'm mostly free from the hurt
It sucks
But I still focus like Cyclops

And life is great books,
Beautiful sunsets,
My wife's infrequent smiles
And T.V.

An aside.Was that lever action 22 by any chance a Marlin?

with your grasp of what I tried to do. There are a couple of your suggestions that I am going to make use of. Thanks for the ideas. Not sure about the Marlin; it could have been. It was over fifty years ago.
I do remember that it was single shot and loaded from the top.

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Hope that's not offensive... (forgive an ignorant Aussie - I learned the term Yankie only from old diggers (WW1 & WW2 vets) as US soldiers that came over here were generally known as Yankies... though I wonder now as to the connotations in regard to the civil war...)
Anyway.... it's just guns are a real rarity in Australia most people only ever see them occasionally on a cops belt, but even that is rare...
Anyway, yes, your poem... what a dizzy ride through a dramatic experience. Very direct & confronting... I think I wanted a little more of those pow moments, like the fainting & the "shit!" I did get a sense of seeing through your eye (sorry, bad pun, if that!), as such extreme experiences tend to plant memories of flashes of momentary responses, as you have done here -

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

First, if you are going to call us Yanks, the proper [American] spelling is Yankees. Imagine; the Aussies think of any American as a Yankee, while it is only those below the Mason Dixon Line that refer to us that way. LoL No, I'm not offended by the term or any jokes or remarks about my eye. Hell, if I were to be offended by stuff like that, I probably wouldn't be alive today. I've always been proud of being able to overcome the supposed handicap and as I've said there are many things that I'm capable of, that many people I know aren't as good at. It was my intent to try and get some of the urgency and drama of that day so long ago, into this poem. I'm glad you liked it and were drawn in. Yes, we Yanks do have a thing about guns, in general. They were and are a big part of our culture. No doubt, that it brings the heartache of mass killings, but I am of the opinion that if it is a criminal thing to have a gun, only criminals will have them. And that is something I don't want to contemplate. Thank you for the comments, The chance of connecting on levels that people rarely experience or think about, is why I keep writing. ~ Gee.
.

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Smiling - Over here we'd just smile & say "You are a good egg" xx Well, I might!

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

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