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You

I look at you and I want to
die but only so I could be
living in a permanent forever.
When I look at you its like all wrong
things have right outcomes. You are
like electricity flowing through a cable
just to hit the outlet on a wall. You
make me want to touch the purple in
a flame. You make getting struck by
lightning seem like a wonderful idea.

You make me want to rub a balloon on
my head so I could remember what its
like when you hold my hand. You make
me want a heart attack so I can feel what
its like at catch your gaze. Please tell me
if this is love because I am surely confused
if love is never like this, and I'm terrified.

when I hear your voice its like all the interments
in the world sink up to make the most beautiful
sound. you make me want to drown in the
ocean that is your hair. You make me want
to die. Right now. I look at you and I want
death. it seems like the worst idea but you
make it seem like the best.

Your eyes an explosion of emotion that people
call brown. You're so confident with the life you
withhold. the life of running. Yet you wanna die
too. I miss us. before I had my heart attack. now
its different. our story is done. have we finished
the book or lost the page. that's for you to say.
so say with your room filling voice, speak. my
hands are red but their cold. I'm out of breath
but my heart is pounding. you are here yet like
a shadow you are so out of reach.

This feeling makes me want to die, its like all the emotions
in the universe had a baby that I had to carry
and if it goes down, I'm going down with it. the
music is quiet, and so are you.

Review Request (Direction): 
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Last few words: 
I wrote this aboout someone i met in oasis. the behavioral heath hospital. i really liked him and i wanted to share my experience with you
Editing stage: 

Comments

Really good imagery.
Free verse is not my favorite, but the wordsmith is top rate.
Remember though, even in free verse (in my opinion) meter is important. The rhythm works for the most part, but sometimes lines run over long.
I would mark the "I want the raw truth..." button. You'll get more honest interpretations of your poetry which after all is how we grow as poets.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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