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York Pork Man

There once was a lad from New York,
who could eat nothing but pork.
His insides were burning.
His acid was churning.
Then he threw up and looked like a dork.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
A little limerick. Thanks for the advice wierdelf!
Editing stage: 

Comments

some people just can't. You are talented.

The only thing with this one is the second line, it breaks the meter, which should be the same 1,2 and 5

who ate nothing but pork.
perhaps
who could eat nothing but pork.

Hear the difference?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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