Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Yes She Was... by: eddy styx

Yes She Was... (by: eddy styx)

she was more than
just a great beauty,
to cast eyes upon her
was exhilarating.
she could take you,
leaving you breathless.
the tender loving
which she exuded
was tangible for all..
she was my love, my lady fair,
but this was not to be.
for another "She"
saw my lovely
as heated competition.
in the time of the dark moon
"She" stealthily trespassed
into my lady's bed chamber.
raised arm, in possession of
gilded blade, struck true...
slitting her throat so deeply!
life's blood spilling through
over (Her) hands and arms
as She triumphantly
kissed the killing weapon.
I, coming upon the scene
of dastardly deed,
at the eleventh hour.
on my knees, I kissed
my lover's hand and vowed
I would destroy and dispatch
her slayer!
(and all evil women when found!)

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Until the throat slitting. The turn of the poem -so graphic.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

graphic, yes. I appreciate you reading my poem and responding.

ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

this to wind up being another woman stole your woman! Graphic, indeed! Of course, eddy would have taken that as an affront too! I could see how that might want to make him hate all women. Nonetheless, a great story told! Now, we know...
~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

thank you for reading and understanding! I appreciate that much.

ever eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

If ever captured by an enemy don't let them turn you over to the women lol

I was raised with three ruthless women. my mother and two sisters. they were the most vengeful women I have ever crossed trails with, and I've met quite a few. more deadly than men!!! thanks for stopping by...good to see you!
ever eddy
*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment

Strangely makes me think of the surrealist painter Rene Magritte who littered the faces of his models with veils or masks or inanimate objects because of his mother who committed suicide and he discovered her body with her face disfigured. Sorry not a pleasant subject but due to some oddity perhaps my fault alone but your poem made me think of that. I wanted to check out an Eddy Styx poem too thanks for sharing even if I'm wrong dear poet :)

you have got it right! that is the vein in which it was written! Thank you for reading one of my poems, too, it is greatly appreciated!

ever, eddy

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.