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The Yard Sale
The Yard Sale
Welcome to the yard sale.
I put that on my sign.
Things I wanna sell not
worth a nickle or a dime.
A body is the the item
I would like to sell today.
Or perhaps that maybe
I would love to give away.
On the torso is a head with a
mouth and two eyes that see
Eyes that see the beauty of
life and a mouth that freely speaks
On the torso on each side
are two arms and two hands.
Two hands to hold and touch
on God's majestic land.
Down below the torso are
two legs and two feet.
That are used for running
or walking down the street.
Inside the body most special
of all the brain and the heart.
The brain provides the thinking
and the heart is life from start.
This yard sale requires no money
just simply care and love.
To heal the heart that's broken
and make it rise above.
This yard sale unlike others
not out for nickles or dimes.
Just wants to sell my heart
for love if somebody has the time.
Written by Mark Wayne Shifflet
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
This is a new one that I have written my sister was having a yard sale sounded likeI a good title
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2023-03-26 11:57
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Title: The title is fitting for the content of the poem as it accurately describes the theme and setting.
Rhythm and Pacing: The poem is written in free verse, which allows for flexibility in rhythm and pacing. However, the lack of consistent meter or rhyme scheme can make it challenging for the reader to maintain a steady flow. Some lines, such as "Or perhaps that maybe," disrupt the natural flow of the poem. This inconsistency in pacing can make the poem difficult to read aloud.
Content: The poem centers on the concept of a yard sale, but with a twist. The speaker is not interested in selling material items for money but rather wants to sell their heart, symbolizing their emotional vulnerability. The theme of emotional openness and healing is poignant and relatable, and the metaphor of a yard sale effectively conveys the speaker's desire to be seen and understood.
Suggested Line Edit: In the line "Or perhaps that maybe," consider revising to "Or perhaps even give away" for smoother flow and more straightforward language.
Overall, "The Yard Sale" is a heartfelt poem that effectively communicates the speaker's vulnerability and desire for emotional connection. However, improvements in pacing and language could enhance the reading experience.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact