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Write Your Own Poem

Once more I'm writing my poem
A poem that's worth something or nothing at all
Would it get published; does it have a rhythm or tone?
Who cares? After all, it's just for me and mine alone.

My poem carries the thoughts that come
from my restless consciousness
Thoughts are formless and begging to be molded
or else they take flight and are gone no more.

What a joy seeing these thoughts becoming visible
Quickly coming to mind some fleeting moments and
memories that can easily be lost by the speed of our time
Time is gold, so write your own poem without a rhyme at all.

I'm penning this little poem early in the morning
right on the bus where most people seem visibly not moving
They look harassed, stressed out what a sad kind of living
Then, silently I pause and wish them more of life's blessings

Write your poem as you reflect and mediate
Ask questions, either big or small: who am I?
What's the meaning of life? Whereto should I
go when I die? Can I draw close to my Creator?

Why is life's success not giving us peace?
As happiness eludes us, worries instead are at our doorsteps?
Finding ones life's contentment is everybody's guess.
But one need not gaze any further for the answers are here.

Draw close to Jehovah God, our Creator while there is still time
Like a thief in the night, His Day will come surprising everyone
Let's read His Holy Writings and change our ways now
It's now or never, for tomorrow might be late for some.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

First, allow me to welcome you here.
I am glad we have a poet with a great sense of cadence joining Neopoet.
I relate to your poem, addressing the question of publishing, of writing, of preserving the moment of life that otherwise would be gone.
I am not sure that giving one answer to one of the questions you have listed at the end of the poem is necessary. It is clear to the reader that you will provide this answers in your other poems.

The title is perfectly corresponds the content until the last stanza.

Your language use is great. One line "Finding ones life's contentment is everybody's guess" made me think that instead of guess I would use the word goal or maybe i would rephrase the line.

I like the structure of the poem, it reads well.

I am looking forward to seeing more of your poems here.

IRiz

Hi IRiz,
I really appreciate your straightforward comment; it's very encouraging because for a neophyte poet like me, I need to learn lots of things.
Thanks,Williej

author comment

Dear friend,
keep writing and you will see where your talent will take you. The best teacher is to keep writing and to go back to old draft. You can do it here, if you noticed after you edit your poem all the drafts are saved.
So if one day you change your mind all the changes are reversible.
Looking forward to see all the answers you have stated in your introductory poem.
In time you will build a core of readers, who will be awaiting your poems.
Sincerely, IRiz

IRiz

Welcome to this community..I agree with the comments of IRiz. It's good to know you have an open mind to learning. Keep reading and commenting / critiquing work of others...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

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