but my problem with all three pieces is clarity. It thinks, feels and reads like poetry, but has a difficult time progressing as not everything is clear.
Little things like not being sure if she placed the chloroform herself or if it was how Damien took her. I believe it was Damien, but the fact that I thought otherwise even for a moment is the murkiness that I mean. You can't change the mood as that's the nature of much of your poetry. The feeling that we are seeing a mirror image of a mirror that shows us more mirrors and deep in the image is the hint of what we are trying to see. This is what makes much of your poetry rich. But I believe it can be detrimental when telling a tale.
On the positive side, you are creating characters with the barest hints. "the old goat died", so he's ready to perform the ceremony. I love that stuff.
The complication is there and moving toward a climax, but too many details are inferred. Here is a thought a screenplay writer once gave me. "The story must be told in black and white, but mix them before applying to the canvas." A lot of this is grey right out of the bottle.
Does that make sense?
By the way... this single section had all of the parts displayed... once I figured it out.
I don't know how difficult it would be (I'm still figuring out the computer tricks I can play here), but see if you can get the whole poem in a single post, so we can better study the transitions between them. If it's too much of a hassle, that's okay too.
Now, just for me... I would like to see a climax that blows all of us away.
wesley

Wow! I like the story a lot, but as Wesley says; It is a little murky. I like where this is going, but a little less scatter please. ~ Gee

I do like your story and for me the poetry is good,
but you are three submissions in and I'm still not sure
who or what Damien is, is he the child from the Omen
all grown up? Eddie Styx, we all know who that is but if
someone not from Neopoet were to read this it would leave
them totally bewildered. Lorraine; how did Damien run into
her, who is she, does she know Damien, I mean here she is
being captured and we still know nothing of her except that she
is apparently too hot for her own good.

Your images are very good, and the story line is too, just seems
to need some details added.

I certainly don't want to be spoon fed anything, but I believe
if telling a story, it's important to introduce the characters.
I didn't see anywhere that Lorraine was to be his wife before
the horse threw him and he was turned into the son of satan,
(which by the way I didn't understand, I wanted to know why, why
would Satan want Damien but I thought that would be revealed
later), Lorraine is introduced in the second piece, maybe you
intended for there to be some background but I never saw it, I'll
go back and check again now.

I love being part of your story! Perhaps to clarify, you could say "eddy styx, a fellow maniac and child of the night," etc. You can be sure I will be reading through to the end!

always, eddy (& cat)

The way I have always looked at it is that reader must "feel" they are being spoon fed and not realize that the bites they are getting are quite small. If there are moments when the reader feels he/she is not understanding enough to continue... they may not. Remember that the exposition is "the information NECESSARY to tell the story". This of course will be different in everyone's perspective. The hardest part for the writer is to recognize that they and they alone know where the story is going. I have sections in my large poem that would, I'm certain, bring my readers to tears IF they knew what was going to happen. Being ignorant, the sections are merely a bit moving and that is all.
Chrys, don't be afraid to give things away. You will find as you write that your tale is more complex than even you thought and there will always be something else to reveal.
I too have a little difficulty with not knowing just what Damien is. That makes for good mystery, but you might want to consider offering some hints... even if they are not true. Lead your reader and remember that you need not lead them always to the truth.
As storytellers our first goal is to generate trust with the reader, so they will follow. We do this though, for the purpose of successfully lying to them.
wesley