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A word too much
Words, they like to walk around the house in silence. Nobody interferes with their discussion then.
Is it you or me or the chaos.
Words?
I feel sorry for the words.
Their softness, and the hardness in their accent, their meanings.
Words can charm. - Even the most dangerous murderer.
The words, love, and We love them.
But are words, word for word,
worth attention.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2022-07-11 06:21
I feel that...
you could have taken this so much further and indeed, you might still as I see that you have labeled it as a rough draft.
I do hope that you will add to it. If you don't, I will be sorely tempted to do something myself. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.