Neopoet

Thu, 2012-07-19 03:09

Chrys

In my dreams yet the picture is clearer if I dream when awake..
Lovely piece to hope with lol, if only I say If only.
Have a lovely day both, Yours Ian.T

PS:- I searched Oblivion and spent many moment watching fleeting shadows playing with dreams LOL

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thu, 2012-07-19 06:55

Hi Ian

Thanks, this is what happens when one cannot sleep and starts thinking about people

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

Thu, 2012-07-19 06:46

I like this poem. Without

I like this poem. Without thinking about the game, on its own right. But thinking about the game (from Ian's comment, I'm guessing) it seems a bit drab an d ordinary.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

Thu, 2012-07-19 06:57

william

thanks

well what can I say perhaps you would have to know what the game was ( that for reasons I did not make clear) but I respect your comment and opinion
Chrys

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

Thu, 2012-07-19 07:08

and this happens when a poet alludes to something that the reader might not recognize immediately, the poem had this distant, romantic feel when I first read it. But on seeing the previous comment, and realizing it was the ES game (which I happen to like, btw, although Skyrim takes it to another level), it lost that wonder. To me, anyway. :)

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

Thu, 2012-07-19 10:03

william

The way it was written and what I had in mind when I wrote it

It was not meant to allude to a game at all
it was more like your first read as I had a specific person in mind

perhaps I should change the word play to

"pretend"
I think I mislead the reader with the word play
I truly appreciate your input thanks again

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

Thu, 2012-07-19 10:33

O no!

You shouldn't. It's perfect! Please don't.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

Thu, 2012-07-19 10:23

Chrys

I think I understood your write, it belongs to some of the things I can equate with, where the mind drifts over fields and plays with things in many forms.
To Dream while awake and in that between zone, this is where the children I talk to play and talk to me of many things, though they have no room for anything other than the good things where they are, this is where Sadie is able to communicate, in those lovely between worlds of thoughts...
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

scribbler

Thu, 2012-07-19 12:06

Hi

Game - no game....doesn't matter. A flight of fantasy put to verse. only thing I'd consider changing would be to drop "only" in last line..............stan

Thu, 2012-07-19 18:03

Stan

Hi thanks for your offering
I'm tossing your suggestion around to see if it would change what the meaning of that line is

I had it in my mind that all of this could not be in any other place except oblivion

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

Candlewitch

Thu, 2012-07-19 12:36

Dear Chrys,

You know my thoughts on this as you've read them elsewhere. I saw no "game". I found this to be lovely tinged with sad. (and I love it!)

always, Cat (& eddy)

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thu, 2012-07-19 18:04

Cat

Yes I know them and you have a letter forth coming as soon as I find the right words

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

Thu, 2012-07-19 17:16

Arrgh!

Ok, this is where the "game" came from: The Elder Scrolls IV, Oblivion. A fantasy role-playing computer/video game that you can " play at being what we will never be"

Get it now? Here's a link for help | http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elder_Scrolls_IV:_Oblivion

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

Thu, 2012-07-19 18:06

william

LOL ok I see now
However oblivion in this case did not refer to a video game
more like

far from ones reach, or never in ones reach

thank you for such an interest in this little poem I really appreciate it

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

Geezer

Thu, 2012-07-19 18:29

I took it to mean...

the condition or fact of being forgotten. Where we can forget the everyday, ordinariness of life.
A place where we can live our dreams. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thu, 2012-07-19 21:06

Guy

Yes exactly and they could never become reality

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

author comment

BlueDemon77

Sat, 2012-07-21 21:47

Interesting piece Chrys!

I'm a petulant child in an obsidian sandbox. I love your piece in execution yet semantically disagree. Semantically in that it's a mixture between the Descarte mind/body debate and the ideas of perception and reality. I guess my point is that if a writer imagines something, do they not at some level experience, even vicariously, the events they write in order to instill the work with authenticity? Said another way is this not the same argument between method acting and other, less-immersive technical approaches to art in general and writing in specifics? I'm out on a limb here because your work itself perfectly represents your point so what I'm writing isn't a critique. It's an old argument about approaches to art and its relationship with the artist.

Thanks for a poem that fired me up creatively and intellectually.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

Sun, 2012-07-22 03:36

Ron

You have a good argument here that to be able to write about something it must be there in your ways or being.
I remember Jess saying to Rosina that she should write about her own experiences in her poetry to lend it that positive touch and reality...

Where do these writings come from, I can write about holding your throat and killing you, but this is completely out of anything other than thoughts, now that thought has been made here, and is only a thought in that instant as soon as it is thought it is history, but in thinking it I have made it subconsciously real..
Now I can write of this action, as it is real in its making as is all thoughts..

Picasso, well there's a thing to perceive, I would hate to go out with his women..
Poe, in his writing did he make all these thoughts, probably yes, and then proceeded to write about them after the event, were they real ???

What if some of these people really are as they write.???
This scatty Idea, is as bad as Steven Hawkins writing, that we are as robots and obey the laws of physics without a spirit or self conscious thought..
I and many others believe that we are free Spirits that can think and imagine many things, and can write of many things outside of our own physical actions or experiences.
This is where we as Humons excel above many creatures, but I say that even the creatures of the Earth have a free will, so that they in their ignorance are part of the whole and may in your life alter your path..

Shall we put a Venomous snake in your path as you walk, now there are several probability tracks this can have..
You ignore the snake it is not real..
Kill the snake in its form and it is now real
Stop and await the actions of the snake

Now the snake can do several things and are these just its own mechanical action.
.
The snake attacks you causing you severe harm
The snake just lets you pass without harm
The snake flees which solves many problems
Does the Snake decide by its own nervous action, be it thought or not ??
All these are thoughts made now, that are history, but nothing happened
this situation then does not exist so I cannot write about it ???????
An excellent talk on what happens at the twilight time, of which I have 200 hours of recordings, these I write about sometimes "Sadie's Diaries" and many other Spirit things.
Now are they part of me so that I can write of them, in so doing they become a reality..
Have you ever been in an obsidian sandbox ????
Not sure where this talk is going so I will rest a while, to await your thoughts but be careful what you think as it may be your reality,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

BlueDemon77

Sun, 2012-07-22 05:20

Hi Ian!

I made some statements that are relevant to me about the creation of writing and I think I was pretty clear in the execution of my beliefs. The approach of method acting as opposed to other acting theories was as close as I can come to what I'm talking about. It has nothing to do with freedom of choice, Stephen Hawking, poisonous snakes, or throttling me. Did Kafka ever actually wake up as a bug? No, but what he did do was to imagine a metaphor for alienation that was so tenable and striking, it's still being read and taught. My thesis is that to have imagined that, he was inspired by some sense of inward experience that led his imagination to write something with such psychological resonance, the stuff of myth. Was William S. Burroughs really a counter-operative living a covert life and writing "reports" to a unseen agency? No, but many see that analogy as uncannily accurate in an experiential way to what he lived. I'm talking about how much of you is in your writing and how much of your writing is in you I guess. How immersed do you have to be to create what you're creating? The answer is probably different for different people.

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

Sun, 2012-07-22 05:29

Ron

Thanks for your reply, yes everyone to their own interpretation as to life's ways of being and thinking..
This is what makes us who we are, and we have to be glad of who we are.
Yes I suppose that the depth at which you perceive things is the limit of your writing, and the limits of imagination the limit of things you can write of.
I wonder what our limits are, and is there a border of reality in there, where your limits fuse with a great nothingness,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..