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why does she!

when does a woman give in
when she wants him in..

then she has no inhibitions
of what others think …
she has made her mind
so she thinks
as love flows and only she knows
from within

she has made her choice

now none can stop
love for her becomes a lovely stop
she lets him enter
but never regrets
till she has reason to repent
then tis too late
she can’t relent

she couldn't wait…
alas it happens these days
quite often
let her make up her own mind and date
to whom she should lovingly relate..

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I feel like the poem is great but the implied audience screws with me a bit. I feel confused. It hints that she is not capable of correctly making up her own mind the whole time. She is pressured into this interaction and does not necessarily love the man inside of her. Yet we close with a call to action to the man to let her make up her own mind. Is this a message to tell men to slow down and wait for her to come to you? Is this a message to women about thinking twice? Is this encouraging both sides to only have sex with someone that they are in love with?

Or am I way off and this is simply cautioning the act of giving up your virginity? It feels like it could be any of these and I yearn for a steadfast anchor by which to fully understand your message.

_Danny

your personal version
creation or decision

many gals become single mothers
only
but surely unknowingly
lets get more views please.

loved

author comment

But it applies to men as well.
The one night stand the guy from hell
The sailor with a women in every port
No new mystery here is my retort
Tis the Way of the world
Not specific to girls!

since birth gals alone
are that worth
men only donate sperms
and ovums toooo
help procreate
no single effort ...
combined conugal

loved

author comment

Why does she indeed ? She should never be pressured into having sex which I felt was part of the message of the poem, there is a little work to be done for clarity as its a little confusing I am sure you can smooth out the edges

love Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

this poetry will
naturally glow
the glitch to me
do show!

loved

author comment

A woman' price for inpetuousity is so much more profound than a man's. Unless the man is as committed to responsibility as the woman.

As to a critique, I feel that your passion is trumping your sense of style and clarity. The stanza below could be shaped to benefit both I feel.

now none can stop
love for her becomes a lovely stop
she lets him enter
but never regrets
till she has reason to repent
then tis too late
she can’t relent

In closing, your passion, optics and topic are intense and vivid. I enjoyed; even better, learned about you and your world from this poem. Thank you for this oportunity.

Best regards,

Joe

My mind's writing cheques my body can't cash.

I wish you to know that
I'm an actor of poetry ....
its not necessary
that all of it is me

I enter thee
and then I'm at sea.
perhaps to my mind
what you do see.

loved

author comment
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