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WHY ARE WE HERE?

Submitted by Olaniyi Beloved... on Thu, 2018-07-12 12:08

Black and dark
Mind often obscured
Historically backward
Holistically awkward

All hopes are seen dashed
New garments get stained
Deceptions ring in our ears daily
Political mentors get masked

Adversities intersects us
The race becomes farther
Generations come and go
Condition remains the same

Who will lead us out?
How did we get jammed?
Where have we gone wrong?
Why are we here?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Contest: 
SUMMER FUN

Comments

raj

Thu, 2018-07-12 14:04

Thought provoking
....................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

chevyvent

Thu, 2018-07-12 15:30

chevyvent's picture

Supply cadence to the simple in response to this adoring piece. Left the reader in suspense in their senses. Love the simplistic view of nature in this transformed art piece you got clever in each adaptation. Feeling the true moments of the seasons embarking on space & time.

Beautifully written words you have an enlightened piece well groomed

Mario Vitale

Eumolpus

Tue, 2018-07-17 13:59

Eumolpus's picture

well that's a big one! After reading your poem, looking for big big answers, rhetorically, I think you are asking too much of us. We all live in an ocean of time, history, animal instincts, consciousnesses, fear of the end, and all the rest of it. It is good to express these thoughts, and they are important, but you will never, not ever, find the absolute answer, as there is none. So why worry about is the great Krishnamurti said. Live your life. Tell us about it. Tell us about how the market smells, how the rain feels, what your town is like, or make up your own town. You are not telling us what every human being
has not often asked...you're preaching to the choir. Start with yourself. Tell us, using the poetry of YOUR imagination why we are here.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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