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Why are people such Ba***rds

There is something about the world that doesn't make sense
People have fake personalities, everything is just a pretence.
I’m sick of the Bullies who are feral at best,
Who push and punish you and critize how i am dressed.
If you just stay out of trouble, lower your head,
All they do is make something up instead.
Rumours thrive,
Ruining peoples lives,
Oh why are people such Bastards?

Walking to school the hyenas are waiting at the door,
Same insults as yesterday, and trying to push me,
so I fall on to the floor,
Fuck off and grow up, I’m not your bloody fool,
Aren't you fucking hilarious I’m not your object of ridicule.
These people are all demented,
School is the worst thing ever invented.
Oh why are people such bastards?

Walking home finally, I’m free from them at last,
Until the dickhead cyclists hit me as they go past,
I tell my mother, she said just ignore it,
I’m there to bloody learn,
To do what I’m told to at my best until my evening return.
Doesn't matter what I thought,
I never get any support,
Oh why are people such bastards?

In PE I started an argument, deliberately one might say,
With the blonde bitch from Nantwich,
Her game I wouldn't play,
She commanded and demanded,
She threatened to beat me through hearsay.
The fight actually happened,
And the bitch by me got finally flattened,
And I just walked away.
Now I know why people are such bastards!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Sorry about the swearing, I was 14 and I wrote this poem, when I was getting bullied, parents didn't help, neither did the teachers so I supported myself the only way I knew how, it does need alot of tweaking but as a rough draft I think its viable xx
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

this is a viable poem. I think that you have included all the elements that are needed to make this a really good poem. I wrote something much like your poem a while back and I invite you to take a look at it. The poem is called "Explosion" written on April 4th 2017. Hopefully, it can give you an idea of how to accomplish putting your ideas into shorter, more concise lines, which I think would serve you better. As to the swearing; I think your language is just fine. Sometimes, those off-color words
are just what a line needs to make the point! I think your title would be better to just say "Bastards!" Your beginning, end and the logic are fine. ~ Geezer. P.S. To find my poem, click on my name and when it takes you to my profile, you should be able to follow my list of works to the proper date and/or title. Another P.S. I went back and read some of your other works and decided that you really know how to make your poems shorter and more concentrated/concise. You are still invited to go look at my poem, of course! LoL

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Yes im no shrinking violet! But I believe in being honest, if a mate is wearing something totally wrong and thinking of buying it I tell them it looks awful on them but I suggest something else that's going to make them look cuter and prettier.

Always lovely to hear from you xxx

author comment

And so are you lovely xxx

author comment

Yeah I wrote this in my teens obviously very annoyed and I didn't know how to make 1 word say 5 then, I need to edit it and bring it up to speed, I will look at your poem thankyou very much xxx

author comment

Thankyou doh!

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