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" WHY "
A man cries out one nighty < cursing God and asking him why ?
Why did he allow him to fall so far losing his precious life ?
And why did his woman leave him she swore it would never end.
He's got a bible on the shelf , he notices it now and then .
And where was his angel to pick him up , maybe God don't care ,
Maybe there' no such thing as hell and there's really no one there.
The man sat by himself , alone in an empty room .
The only sounds he heard was his haggared breath and beating heart in perfect tune ,
When out of the darkness came an unfamiliar voice ,
" You know the answer to your question why ,it's because you had a choice,
I gave my life for ransom ,you chose to give yours away ,
I gave you simple directions but you ignored what i had to say .
I sent an angel to pick you up and you fought against his wings ,
Instead of reading the bible , you chose to read Stephen King.
And i gave you a woman to love you but i guess she wasn't enough,
because you went looking for something else , you wanted lust instead of love,
And you stuck a needle in your arm just for a little high .
And I'm still here considering all You've done .
HOW DARE YOU ASK ME WHY !!!
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
I have many more just dont know how to get them out
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2021-07-08 12:20
I guess...
I just have to reply to this one. First, the contest that you have entered, has ended. I suggest that you read the parameters of the contests that you enter. This poem, doesn't seem to have anything to do with a pandemic. I do get your message. Take your time and look over your work, before you post. I know that people are anxious to get the reaction to their work, but it is always better to have fine tuned it before posting, so that you get opinions of your ideas and writing skills, not corrections.
~Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.