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Who are you or me??

Even the sun will die
What of RA then I ask
Will the folding of the universe be destructive
"It is mine, I can do it if I need to".
Spit out that evolution it is there each day,
you can't run from its bite

"Oh did you stop evolving??"
Shit I forgot to give you an inkling of my plan,
Fear not you can join the energy of the universe,
there you can become anything you think to be,
but at some time remember me.
An entity that the humons ran out of ideas for.

"I don't need eyes to see your blatherings,
they become weak in the run of things.
Individuals cannot be told of the truth,
they would only become as crazed animals.
The end of a superior species

That's a laugh,
even the frog spawn in the pond, has as much chance.
Just look out into the night,
you will see me laughing in the twinkling stars,
as they go out one by one.
Little bundle of energy

Crave for my power as I absorb your futile state.
Remember always that I love my creation.
Or did I do it, or has it always been?
I just jumped on the bandwagon,
it was easy to fool you all..

Yours Sparrow LOL

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Just a thought!
Editing stage: 

Comments

Wow,

What a thought!

Some minor editing ("Humons" should be "humans"?) and maybe tighten up the cadence here and there, but that's all.

Brilliant, as our Oz Lady would say.

These lines are absolutely gorgeous:

"Spit out that evolution it is there each day,
you can't run from its bite"

and

"but at some time remember me.
An entity that the humons ran out of ideas for."

I bow to most acute excellence, my friend.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Thank you for your visit and for liking my God like talk with Humons, I know I spell Human's wrong it is from a long time ago, or even Star trek.
I remember seeing a film called "Alien Mine" many years ago and it to me was a great movie.
The use of the word "humons" is to me to make a point about them, sometimes they can be so hard on their own species that goes beyond belief lol.
Good to walk with you for a while, we have much to talk about on this Sojourn as Loved calls it.
Go with your own faith, that it sustains your goodness, is all the universe asks of you,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Just having a little mind walk before bed, and I found this one, I totally agree with the lines that Jim pointed out they are gorgeous.

I want to read this again, I will return, earlier tomorrow night or tonight, whatever. lol

love always JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Sigh this is really gorgeous I had to come back for another read, I hope your both well

Its after 1 in the morning here soooooo HOT I am just reading before I try and get some much needed sleep

take care hun

love always JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

poetic fallacy for , other humans to run out of ideas for ones other than themselves, cause every-one is so greedy, even with ideas

Lovely to have you visit glad you liked the read, am away at the moment in Cornwall UK so access is limited.
Will look at some of your writes later,
Take care, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment
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