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WHIRLING DERVISH edit

Submitted by Geremia on Thu, 2015-11-19 18:15

Whirling Dervish

There are hearts that never feel
and souls as cold as steel
who like Whirling Dervishes
dance to disconnect --
Creators of blissful trances
and release into madness.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Fri, 2015-11-20 04:35

weirdelf's picture

Adore this poem!

Perhaps a slight typo dsiconnect?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Fri, 2015-11-20 07:51

Geremia's picture

Thanks, Jess, And yes, I need

Thanks, Jess, And yes, I need to correct the typo :)

joe

author comment

Mon, 2015-11-23 12:06

weirdelf's picture

And may I may add, powerful metphorical content

superb

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Mon, 2015-11-23 12:08

Geremia's picture

I am happy you noticed, my

I am happy you noticed, my friend.

joe

author comment

Tue, 2015-11-24 21:32

lovedly's picture

UR SUPERB ...WHERE EVER WE GO

All over Neopoet
its JOE and only Joe

here we all go
metaphorical lovely show
let me know
So that one day I to may
also glow
dear friendly poet
my Joe

Wed, 2015-11-25 08:39

Geremia's picture

Thank you, my dear friend,

Thank you, my dear friend, for making this morning worthwhile.

joe

author comment

Wed, 2015-11-25 09:32

lovedly's picture

only friends like you

paths do show
Joe

Mon, 2015-11-30 18:58

Sparrow's picture

Joe

A resurgence of thoughts arranged with perfection, keep writing our Friend, Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Mon, 2015-11-30 21:18

Geremia's picture

Thanks, ian.

Thanks, ian.

author comment

Tue, 2015-12-01 00:23

Roscoe Lane's picture

Excellent,

Excellent, Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

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