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WHIFFS OF MEMORY

I caught the scent of muscadines
while strolling through a lonely wood
a mix of tall hardwoods and pines
near where a crumbling chimney stood

I stopped and breathed that perfume in
brought to me on a warm faint breeze
and I wasn't surprised when
the rich scent triggered memories

I closed my eyes let mind wander
through over fifty years of fall
and thus set myself to ponder
about the shortness of it all

Only yesterday it seems
school day friends were all that mattered
now most of them are gone like dreams
they've passed on, drifted off or scattered

And it seems that just last night
we were on our honeymoon
with all of life's goals still in sight
those times passed away too soon

And gathering sweet muscadines
kids and parents both in sylvan shade
shaking them from high thin vines
wild grapes from which jellies were made

I open eyes and let breath out
a small smile on my grizzled face
then take another look about
and continue on with halting pace

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 

Comments

mm here :)

I have just picked the lines that are really out to my ear (even using your mixed meter style)
‘and I wasn't surprised when’
‘With eyes closed I let my mind wander’
'with all of life's goals still in sight'
'those times passed away too soon'
'kids and parents both in sylvan shade'

and typos –
‘schoolday friends were all that mattered' - (‘school day’ – two words)
‘abouth the shortness of it all’
‘and continue on with halting pacr’

as usual, an enjoyable read stan
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

I like your hat. Is that newest Aussie fashion? lol. Those damned typos! I actually DO preview before posting but too often I guess I see what I mean instead of what's there. Already changing the closed eyes line and scratching head(and other regions lol) on thatlife's goals line. Appreciate your input as always and thanks for visiting this unmetered man...............stan

author comment

lol stan
It is Melbourne cup week here in Australia. The biggest horse race down under.

All us ladies 'get up' in out pretty hats and hit the fashion stakes – i'm so glad you like 'my' hat -

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

It's deer season here so my hat is camoflage. I'd show it to you but you couldn't see it lmao................stan PS I expect a very wide brimmed hat would shade most of my head and thus be most flattering.

author comment

I enjoy your walks and memories you make them a prt of the reader which is good.
This one seemed to pause, was it the intrusion of this Stanza:-

Only yesterday it seems
school day friends were all that mattered
now most of them are gone like dreams
they've passed on, drifted off or scattered

They came in and disappeared but they didn't seem to be relevant to the memory, hope you don't mind me saying, it may be just me, Yours as always, Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

It took a while to figure out why I put that stanza in. I think it was to depict how memories intrude on worries and can act as a buffer for them...................stan

author comment

In a way what you have done is make something new, I shall ponder and see what it gives.
Like a walk with worries interrupted by the reflection of a beautiful Moon in the waters of a stream moving to get your attention and So on.
Grand Idea you have given life to, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

As usual if I've done something good it was accidental lol...............stan

author comment

I really enjoyed the reminisce and the walk ... I cant see anything that needs changing and nothing is jumping out at me sorry I cant offer anything more substantial

I really enjoyed the read

regards JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. I'll try to post something which needs more obvious help later lol................stan

author comment

Loved has put a piece on about smiling at people have a look please, Yours Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

will do

author comment
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