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Where I'm From

I’m from the 10th night and 21st hour.
From buckeyes, snow, tomatoes, and wheat.
From chocolate covered cherries,
and caramel apple pops.
From sad songs, hilarious jokes,
and the Wiggles.

I’m from oranges and sunshine.
From oceans and sand.
From late night trips and pit stops.
From the broken sign and flashing lights.
From the Owls and the Artists.

I’m from the lonely bus ride.
From the new school.
I’m from the not knowing,
and the semesterly projects.
From the Mom and the Dad.
From the magnets and the slide.

I’m from the temporary friends,
and the permanent ones.
From the Golden Girls
and the Silver Girls.
From the “if you fit in, how will you stand out?”
I’m from the best friend necklaces,
and the matching fits.

I’m from the Yamaha Oboes,
and Medium-Hard Jones reeds.
From Bach and Mahler,
From Tchaikovsky and Dvorak.
I’m from “Oboes you’re too loud!”,
and “Mark that in your part.”

I’m from “Grow some muscles.”,
and “Think smart, not hard!”.
I’m from watching people leave so soon.
From looking at where she once slept.

Still I wake to the sound of crying,
The sound of music.
The thought of what I will become.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I will wait to critique until after you have complied with the rules. don't be discouraged.

always, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

A Children's Poem --- not ["Where I'm From"]
Then your poem
~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

For me, there are two issues. One is the punctuation. Some lines end with commas (I prefer) and others with periods (which I find abrupt). Overall, the poems has a flowly feel, the rushing by of time and situation and identity so I feel like the commas are consistent with that flow. For me the end is a bit of a disappointment. Maybe it feels too short, or too cliched or, I can't quite put my finger on it . . . I think one thing is the essence of the poem seems that be that whatever you become will be temporary but the last stanza makes it sound like you will finally become this "thing" - completed and unchanging.

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